Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

Happy New Year

The commercials have already started this morning…LOSE WEIGHT NOW! SAY GOOD BYE TO THOSE HOLIDAY POUNDS! JOIN TODAY!!!

Well, I can’t blame it on the holidays. I can’t BLAME it on anyone but myself. As far back as I can remember I have been presented with and  held on to feelings of rejection, unworthiness and isolation. I always felt that I lived on the outside looking in. For every embarrassment and for every ounce of shame, I put a pound of flesh in my pocket.

Psychologist have written thousands of books on how the obese insulate and protect themselves with their weight. In reality…because we chose to hang on to the hurt and not see the lesson – we build up…not a wall to keep others out, that is a farce. We build ourselves into larger targets! We beg the universe to hit us again and again. Ask…and it shall be given. That is the law. I had no clue I knew how to use it so well and so simply.

So the lessons kept coming for 48 yrs. In 2010 I experienced what I hope is my last rejection.  My last step backwards with my health. My last failed love affair. My last imposed self isolation.

I release my “pound of flesh” for every embarrassment I have felt. A pound for each ounce of shame. I release each cell in my body that is not necessary to it’s positive function. I no longer see the need to be a target. I am a Child of God. Spirit within knows what I should look like and my body will adjust to this new consciousness.

In reality I am all that I chose to be;  an Artist, Actress, Singer, Writer, Explorer, Gambler, Chef, Friend, Daughter, Niece, a shoulder to cry on and a partner in crime.  I am many things to many people. I am that I AM.

Happy New Year

And may 2011 be your best year ever. I know it will be mine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: