Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

Posts tagged ‘mid life’

Follow the Yellow Brick Road…..

Spotlight Image Wake up Blanche…we’re not in Kansas anymore!
Today, I’m taking a big step out of the wings and moving center stage into a new adventure. I’m headed up I45 North to the currently frozen tundra of DALLAS for a weekend “Acting for the Camera” boot camp with one of the best known “friend of Dorothy’s” in Hollywood today.

I’ve got my vitamins sorted, my bag packed and my script in hand!

I’m not sure where this will lead me but I bet I come back with some hellacious stories and some new skills in front of the camera!
Quiet on the set ya’ll!!! I’ll be back shortly!

LAW – Leave the light on!

I love each and every one of you.
Juliana

Copyright 2014 Juliana Wathen

Into my dreams…..

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You visit me in my dreams. Dreams so vivid and real that for a brief moment the dream becomes reality and I am totally immersed in the time, taste, and smells surrounding me. Emotions are more intense and swell unrestrained by any insecurity or proven past history. My true reality seems like a distant childhood memory clouded over by a low, ground hugging fog that I dare not stir. I feel the pull between the two worlds and I can sense the end is approaching and I fight to stay longer and FEEL more, EXPERIENCE more, LIVE more. I begin to panic and tell myself to “Find the key”…Find the key that will bring me back here.

In my desperate attempt to  “Find the key”….I panic and open my eyes. The veil is lifted and I am here. I feel empty and alone……

So I get up and do what I always do….make my first cup of coffee…turn on the morning news….check Facebook for the latest gossip and news….line up my vitamins and medications….and ponder the message and meaning of my dream.

It dawned on me that I had to do nothing to enter the dream. It came to me. I had not carried the fears, rules and restrictions I had engrained into my life with me to this new place. I had not consciously set them down, they just no longer existed….I was happier than I had ever been. Everything seemed enhanced. My sight was sharper, my heart was fuller and I could experience everything around me with increased appreciation. It was only when I began to worry about  losing all that I was experiencing that I felt the pull and weight of reality and waking consciousness.

Dreams are our training ground….a chance to experience all that we are and all that we can be when we let go and live in the moment. Moments we don’t have to create, manage or manipulate to bring about.

There is a saying I have heard all my life “Let go and Let God“…Let go and allow the perfectness that is within you to manifest the perfectness around you.

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana

 

Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

 

Who you calling short?…..

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So when you drop a ton of weight, one of the drawbacks is on your pocket-book. You gotta buy new clothes some time!
On Tuesday evening I made my pilgrimage to my local favorite fat store.
I scoured through the racks of brightly colored summer offerings searching for what had quickly become an elusive and rare pair of black dress slacks. After sifting through jeans, shorts and capris galore I finally I found the golden bar holding the ONLY slacks in the store.I’m a gambler by nature and I hate to try on clothes and mostly, never do, but after 82lbs down the drain it is a necessity for a decent fit.I had one shot and had to get it right.
I grabbed a few sizes and headed for the dressing room. The first pair was too large, the second I couldn’t pull over my pancake ass but the third was juuuuuuust right. I wouldn’t even have to hem them!!!!
I wasn’t crazy about the price but it was, after all, a necessity.
I wrangled a chatty sales associate with a lively “I’m ready to check out , please!” and braced my self to scan my debit card.
He rang up the slacks and suddenly the price changed on the read out and $20.00 dollars was posted as a discount! “They’re on SALE?” I exclaimed in a girly high-pitched voice reminiscent of a tacky tween.
YES MA’AM! ALL OUR CAPRIS ARE ON SALE!!!
ūüė¶ My first reaction? I was pissed! I was worried about hemming capris??? Damn it!
Then I decided the Universe was cutting me a break and I should smile, say thank you and exit the store immediately with my $20.00 discount. I don’t care what you say! I’m not THAT damn short!

Just saying!

I love each and every one of you
Juliana
Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

I Got You Babe!…..

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Without you …..I would not experience Faith

Without you …..I wouldn’t be challenged to Trust

Without you…..I would not strive to make the World a Better Place

Without you…..I would not push myself to get to the Other Side

Without you…..I would not experience Unconditional Love

I would not be who I am today without all the experiences, conditions and people that have touched my day to day life.
It truly is YOU AND ME BABE!

I love each and every one of you
Juliana

Copy Right 2013 Juliana Wathen

Diary of a MAD*FAT*WOMAN takes to the stage….

IT IS FINALLY HERE! A SHOW!!!!!!!

NAME IN LIGHTS…..Diary of a MAD* FAT * WOMAN.
A Night of Cabaret with Juliana Wathen

TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW AT
http://www.obsidianartspace.org/coming-events.html

Based on the popular blog by the same name
Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..a journal of personal insight, crazy rants, battle of the bulge and mid life crisis enhanced by some of the best music of the past 5 decades.

Opening January 4th, 2012 at 7:30 and running Thursday, January 5th – Saturday the 7th and Thursday, January 12- Saturday the 14th.

Obsidian Art Space 3522 White Oak Houston, Texas 77007

Tickets are $20.00 per person $15.00 for students and seniors.

Seasons change…..And so do I…..

There is this incredible moment ….a moment so hard to go back and pin point that you might as well not even try. A moment you just accept¬† as having happened as soon as you become AWARE of it.

The AWARENESS comes well after the MOMENT.

I sat today as I drove between jobs and tried to think…was it yesterday? …the day before? Or Monday….was it Monday??? I had to laugh to myself. The “WHEN” and “HOW” really mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. It’s the end results¬† that matter.

Like many, I have actively struggled with negative¬†feelings, fears and phobias for years. I have struggled to let them go and purge them from my daily existence. I worked to let go of anger and I’ve prayed to be released from the stranglehold of unhealthy emotions. I have read books and done meditations to find that peaceful place where these things can no longer touch me.

Through my studies I have discovered that you can say the words, even with conviction, like “I forgive you”, “I am worthy”…or “I’m not in¬†love this person anymore”…but it is something else¬† entirely to believe it and live it. The elusive goal is to no longer feel anger in the back of your throat when you speak a name, to no longer feel a longing in your heart when you hear the name of another or fear a situation. And ultimately, to gather yourself in confidence and move on without regret.

I had that moment today…that AWARENESS moment when I realized that the season in my life had changed and I wasn’t just ready to move on but that I already had. I felt no attachment to the past and the bag of rocks I had left beside the road somewhere along the way. I couldn’t even tell you how many miles back I had dropped the burden. I was just AWARE of traveling lighter.

With that lightness today came a joy that had been missing in my life for a long time. It’s was like welcoming a new season…rejoicing in the falls first cold front to break the oppressive heat of a dry Texas summer. There is a crispness in the air, a¬† lightness in my step and I know that Christmas is just around the corner. Life is a gift…sometimes it even has a bow on it!

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

TOUCHDOWN!!!!!…..

NO PAIN¬† – NO GAIN! Yep that is the mantra of FOOTBALL…It’s finally¬† fall and time for tailgating and grid iron match ups on Sundays in America. The touchdowns and field goals are¬† bringing folks to their feet! Even I did an impromptu “end-zone celebration” in the middle of my living room after my team, the TEXANS won today. Winning feels gooooood.¬† The players leave it all out on the field. But with all the rewards comes the injury reports after every game. Pulled ham strings, broken hands, groin injuries, all are painful reminders that it takes all out effort to win.

So it goes with life. If you play it safe and take it easy you probably won’t have much heart-ache or misery in life. Sitting on the side line is safe but¬† it won’t get you noticed and let’s face it, even you are bored by just sitting there game after game after game.¬† But when you get on the field and give it your all there are going to be consequences. You’re gonna get¬† bumped, bruised and sometimes terribly hurt. The pain is not to make you miserable. It’s there to make you AWARE…. Aware of what it takes to win. Aware of the people that surround you that help you get where you wanna go. Aware of your own courage¬† to take the challenge.You can’t appreciate the win if you are not aware of the struggle to get there.

Life is meant to be lived. NO PAIN РNO GAIN!  Friends and family pass away, relationships fail and children may disappoint. But it is all there to make us MORE AWARE of all the good we have and all the progress we are making.

To be AWARE is to be ENLIGHTENED. It takes a champion to stand in the spotlight!

I love each and every one of you…and today I love my TEXANS just a little bit more.

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

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