Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

My mother once explained to me, “The people you do for are rarely the ones to hold your hand when the shoe is on the other foot.”

Life is not about paybacks. And it shouldn’t be. Expectations will more than likely lead you to disappointment unless you have the vision of the bigger plan.

I was feeling a little sorry for myself driving back from Conroe the other night. I was remembering a girl that had been my very best friend. I had sat with her and her mother during her father’s first heart cath years ago…and even won him an Astros mascot doll in one of those crane games that usually robs you blind. He took it home and it sat next to his recliner for years. I was there years later for his heart by-pass which he came thru with flying colors. I held her hand. I soothed her nerves. I always thought when the time came with my family she would be holding mine. But God had other plans. Life sometimes gets in the way. Relationships change and people move out of our lives.

I sang at a funeral for another girlfriend that I cherished with all my heart. It was one of the hardest things I have done. To see her sitting on the front row in the pain and grief of losing her father and sing a song called “Dance with My Father Again”. It was a stark reminder of the relationship between a father and daughter that I had never experienced. It took all my focus to get through the day. To get through that moment. I did everything I could. I didn’t hold her hand and I didn’t sooth her nerves the way she expected but I gave all that I had to the task at hand. I sang.

I thought she would be the other one to stand by my side at this time. She’s the “take charge” kinda gal that gets Doctors and nurses  to give you their undivided attention. She cared for me for over two years of my own hospital stays. You couldn’t ask for a better advocate. But God had other plans. Life got in the way. Things changed and she move out of my life.

I realized this morning after fielding a dozen phone calls and answering emails and posts that I have more people holding my hand than I could have ever imagined. I have so many best friends sending me and my family love and prayers that I could never narrow it down to just one BFF.

What is the moral of this story? That as long as you focus on the one or two things you DON’T have you will never be able to see the thousands of things that have come to replace them.

I am truly loved. From Austin to Amsterdam and every where else you can imagine. My best friends are lining up to hold my hand….. and my mother’s….. and my father’s, and my brother’s etc. etc. etc. I am so blessed. My heart is full. The lesson is learned. It’s not Tit for Tat….It’s Tit for ALL THAT and more.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Video link to Dance with My Father.

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Comments on: "Dance with my father……" (12)

  1. Janie Miller said:

    You are precious and loved by so many……me included!!!!! Sending positive thoughts your way, dear Huli!

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  2. Words cannot fully explain what your posts mean..to me and many others. I am even more excited to know what they mean to you. That big gal with the big voice and the stinging wit is being moved to make room for the grounded, thoughtful woman with a big heart, an even bigger voice who is on an enormously important journey. One we all benefit from. After another bout of reading one of your entries outloud, through tears, Scotty said “that girl needs to publish”. Just another voice of support telling you what you already know.

    You are loved.

    Like

  3. I love my boys, Thank you.

    Like

  4. Preggers said:

    I love ya lady!!!!!!!

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  5. back at cha preggers.

    Like

  6. Guess he knows a thing or two, huh?

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  7. Yep…He made sure I had you. That’s just gravy

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  8. Joyce Floyd said:

    Yes we are all here – and have always been here – like the base for a pyramid – quietly supportive, not always needing to be noticed but knowing we are needed!!!!! Hugs to you and your family.

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  9. Joyce Lynette you are my safety net and always have been. I love you cause I ALWAYS know you’re there.

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  10. Lovely and very touching; thanks for providing the opportunity to be in touch with my grief over losing my father 11 months ago

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  11. Regina,
    I am sorry for your lose. Grieving is a process. Some grieve for what they lose while others grieve for the lost chance of ever gaining what they never had. You are worthy of healing. Bless the life. Bless the lose and bless the lessons you learned along the way. They were all meant to be.

    Like

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