Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Category: inspirational

  • Living in the Winners Circle…..

    To BE a winner you have to believe you ARE a winner. You have to talk the talk and walk the walk. If you have to fake it till you make it, then so be it!

    The alternative is to feed the negative side of life and live day to day as a victim. A victim of your circumstances AND YOUR OWN BELIEFS. You will be limited by your own perceived limitations. The manifestation of that powerful belief system transforms you into a magnet for all that you fear. Just like in the biblical story of JOB: “precisely that which he fears will be sent upon him”.

    I have lived that FEAR. I feared LIVING and put myself at deaths door. I feared LOVING and pushed away those I claimed to give my heart to. I feared LOSING and broke the delicate things I clung too. It is a hard lesson to learn. And even harder to realize that you called it all upon yourself. Who in their right mind would want to live that life of fear. And so I prayed that God restore my RIGHT MIND.

    The curtain has been lifted and now I see from the other side of the veil. I am a winner because I CHOSE to be. I am living because I do not fear life and all it’s riches any longer. I raise my trophy high and say, “WAY TO GO!” Because if I can’t see what an incredible, beautiful and gifted person I am , then how can I expect anyone else to see it?

    I AM A WINNER….and so are you!

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

  • Illusions…..

    Have you ever felt that “Happiness”  or a “Great Life” is somehow always OVER THERE, just out of reach. Does it seem to be on the other side of where you currently are? Is it like a mirage? The closer you get, the further away it moves as elusive as the end of a rainbow? Is this your reality?

    NO. THIS is the illusion!  That this state of happiness is for others and somehow outside ourselves and just out of reach. The old adage that you must struggle with all our might to reap the rewards of  a “Great Life”  is false. We have been taught to believe  that only thru suffering will we achieve happiness. This is an old thought. It represents an old level of consciousness that we no longer need to feed with our energy.

    The veil has been lifted and we have been shown that our best life is within & in front of us. And the simplest bridge will take us there. The simplest, positive thought of worthiness will propel us forward and we can tread upon that bridge with confidence that it will carry us across.

    Greatness already resides within us. Bring it forward. Bring it out. Surround yourself with this energy and you will be the rainbow brightening up the world.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

  • Leave no girl behind….

    Spring has sprung and so have I.

    Welcome the new adventure: Beautiful Girl Productions. Yes, I have done it at last. My own production company. And the first show is already in the works.

    Like a caterpillar I chewed on a lot of roughage and crawled my way along. I spun myself a cocoon and gave my inner-self time to form and develop. And now, finally, I can emerge and spread my wings.

    It ain’t over till the fat lady sings and once I get going I may never stop! We are putting together a website, original songs, posters, programs and more!

    I have a great team working with me and I am so blessed. Just had to shout it out loud today!

    BEAUTIFUL GIRL PRODUCTIONS….leave no girl behind!

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana


  • Toes in the sand…..

    All work and no play makes for a very boring girl. But sometimes balance is hard to find. Sometimes you have to actually SCHEDULE the fun. When you quit letting life happen TO you and stop just reacting  to the things that come your way you can get a true sense of why you are here.

    Sure, there are lessons that we have to trudge thru but there can be happy lessons along the way as well. Change your perception and you can change the world. And if you didn’t realize it yet. The world starts with YOU. The happier you are, the happier the people around you are. There is an old saying that I just love. “If Mamma ain’t happy, NOBODY is happy”. And I think that is true whether you are a mom or not. It just means that how you feel and react to the world impacts the people around you. Certainly makes sense to me.

    So let me ask you, what kind of impact have you had today? Did you smile at your co-workers? Did you say thank you to the check out clerk? Did you greet your neighbor at the pool with a healthy hello? Did you tell someone they just frick’in matter? It’s the littlest gestures that can mean the most.

    We were meant to be happy, healthy humans. We are here to experience all the wonders of the world. We are a blessing to all those we encounter. The Kingdom of Heaven is all around you if you will just take the time to see it. If you are out of wack, get on track. Take the time to dig your toes in the sand. Your feet will thank you. And so will all the people who love you and hold you dear. Cause let’s face it – HOW YOU FEEL MATTERS.

    That is my Sunday lesson.    🙂

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

  • Ice made from scratch…..

    It’s been a very busy week and it has shown no signs of slowing down but a notice came across my email and Facebook this afternoon that stopped me in my tracks. Greg, a wonderful man who sang with us at BCPA, entered the hospital last night and while we were all busy with our chaotic lives of multi-tasking and meeting deadlines, he simply and quietly …..slipped away. Another voice has been added to the celestial choir.

    It’s amazing that it can happen so fast. But it can. Lives change in  the blink of an eye.

    It is a reminder to me to keep my focus in front of me and to live in the moment. It tells me to stop looking behind me and trying to tug the past and the people in it along with me. To let it go and travel light. Those that want to walk beside me will. Those that don’t, choose a different path because they need to. It’s not personal. Goals are as individual as DNA. I have before me a great life of my choosing. I create new aspects everyday. There is joy to be had and love to be shared. I don’t have to wait to be thinner or richer or healthier to have a good day.

    We are often guilty of letting situations and other people’s circumstances steer us down a road that may not be the one we need to be on. That’s why God created exit ramps! Pull over on the shoulder and check your map. If you don’t have a map – keep driving forward till you see a BUC-EE’S

    They have maps, snacks and ice made from scratch! Life is truly for the living. Make sure you are living it. Greg did.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

  • I’m not FAT ….I’m Fluffy!

    It sounds good in theory anyway. Being fluffy instead of fat. That’s what a friend’s son told me once a few years back. That I was Fluffy – not FAT.

    You see, kids don’t really have filters at 7, or 8, or 9….to him FAT was a negative thought and once he spent a few hours with me we were the best of pals and I couldn’t peel him off me. He was glued to my side.

    His mother politely told him to GET OFF me. He replied that he couldn’t. “She is so soft and fluffy”, he exclaimed with a smile and nuzzled his face into my side.

    Yep – that’s me. I’m broken in like an old Lazy Boy recliner. Soft and comfy in all the right places. I know I’m overweight. No nine-year old needs to tell me that. But somehow I have been able to win them over with my charm, wit and homemade peach cobbler.

    I never had kids. When I was younger I believed that threat my mother yelled out at me when I misbehaved. “Someday you’ll have  kids and they’re gonna be JUST LIKE YOU. YOU JUST WAIT LITTLE LADY!”. I always thought – HELL NO I’M NOT! And I have lived by my proclamation.

    So, I am Auntie, Aunt Huli, Tia. To Nieces and Nephews by blood and by choice. I am the coolest Aunt around. I answer calls at midnight from stranded college students. I hear about first kisses and broken hearts. I have done my fair share of homework , science projects and parties at Chucky Cheese. I’ve sat thru school and church concerts, plays and sports games at 8:00 am in the cold rainy morning.  I’ve dug thru mounds of dirty clothes in search of THE shirt that MUST be worn NOW! I’ve over bought and over indulged. I’ve bent the house rules, stayed up too late and let them sleep to long? YEP – I am Aunt Huli, Auntie, the fluffiest Tia in Town. I don’t mind it at all.

    I made an impression – and so did they. There is a new one on the way this fall. I can’t wait to meet her…or him.

    I love each and every one of you

    Signing off – Your fluffiness – Juliana

  • Duck’in Church…..

    Oh yes. It is Sunday and a whole bunch a folks headed off to church today. God bless’em.

    The girls and I decided to have a little “Church” of our own out at the Lake Conroe with Ms. Wanda (my mom).We all had some chores to do first. Lori had to feed and water Big Bob. Kim had to make sure Blair House was tended to and me – well, I like to think I started my day at God’s Sunday School pinching and feeling all the fabulous natural creations of the earth at the local farmers market on Airline. I bought Ms. Wanda more than just groceries. I brought her a ton of work!

    She has beets to pickle and strawberries to stew and lots of nice, fresh treats to eat for the next few weeks. Now THAT is a southern girls blessing!

    So we all convened at the local “BIG Church” beside the lake. Otherwise known as Sam’s Boat. A nice table with an umbrella out beside the water beats a flat bottom pew any day. We got to watch all the folks come in on their boats and tie off to the dock.We greeted them warmly whether we knew them or now, after all – we did belong to the same church.  Lori and I being experienced church goers asked the waiter for some holy spirits. Ms. Wanda, being the Matriarch of the group, took her time reading the written word and made her selection carefully before sharing her choice with us. And Ms. Kimberly…well, sometimes she can be a woman of few words but she always knows exactly what she wants.

    The fellowship was amazing and we paid special attention to the wonders of nature. Mud hen here and a mallard there. We bought feed and tossed it to the grass carp and watched the water boil as they gobbled up every morsel. God is good and the day was beautiful. But then again any day we can sit outside and enjoy each other and have Ms. Wanda with us – well, it’s just a religious experience for us all. She’s a bright shining star of light and love where ever she goes. She never meets a stranger and always has a kind word. She has loved us through thick and thin, right and wrong and always reminds us that God is within each and every one of us. She was the preacher we needed to see today. We are blessed to have her.

    Well, some cute little boy passed the collection plate which is the usual sign that church is about over. We hugged and loved on Ms. Wanda two or three times each at least. Then off to our cars and back to our lives. Lori to check on Big Bob, Kim to Blair house and me?…aghhh I came home to Punkin ……and to you.

    Life is good. I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana

  • THINK BEFORE YOU EXPOSE……

    I hate to admit it but I might just be an advocate of reinstating the 1922 Bathing Beach Police. Maybe not with the same rules but there definitely are some offenders out there that need a citation or two and some should be put in the back of a paddy wagon and just hauled straight off to jail.

    It’s no BIG secret that I am a BIG gal. And though I love summer, the pool and hanging out at Surfside’s Pirate’s Alley with my girls, the thought of putting on an actual swim suit makes me more nervous that a virgin on prom night.

    I have a “social conscience” which is extremely lacking in some folks. I THINK before I EXPOSE. I have never fully recovered from seeing a grandpa in a Speedo back in the 80’s at Splash Day in South Padre. Had it not been for my youthful state and the copious amount of liquor I consumed I think I might have stroked out right there.

    So, it is with much forethought and trepidation that I select this years Fashionista Fatwear. I am selecting a two-piece. Okay – pick you ef’ing jaw up off the floor. Not THAT kinda two piece. I’m going for the drawstring swim shorts….in black of course and mixing and matching that with brightly colored  swim tops. I’m okay with that! All my bits and pieces will be sufficiently covered. My delicate white fluffiness will be served up to the sun for an extra dose of newly formed freckles and fun. I already have my floatie toy for the pool. My 55 Factor sunscreen, a great To-Go cup and a beach towel. Happiness!!!

    So you see. It doesn’t have to be THAT painful…for you…or the masses who may see you coming down the beach.

    Just remember; THINK before you EXPOSE! God, I wish I had gotten a hold of this woman before spring. It’s just WRONG I tell ya. Women can be attractive at any size – but NOT when you make really, really, reallllly bad choices. I’m hoping the sales person who sold her that piece of patchwork got a sales commission to match the size of the suit. NEXT TO NOTHING! ANYWAY!!!

    I love each and every one of you.

    If you have been emotionally scarred by this post then I suggest you leave work early and go have a cocktail poolside to recover.

    Juliana!!!!

  • I believe I can fly…..

    There comes a time in life when all the coaching, advice and best wishes of friends, family and mentors can’t help you anymore. You have done the work and climbed the mountain. At some point you have to make that leap of faith and believe that all the training will serve you well. You gotta spread your wings and fly. Just jump for Christ’s sake. BE THE BIRD!

    You gotta love the animal spirits in the world. Turtles that crawl up from the sandy beaches and instinctively head into the surf. No swimming lessons for them – they just dive headlong into the water! No floaties, no nose clips, they head straight for the deep end.  Birds are pretty cool too. One day they just decide to jump! And there you have it! Sometimes momma gives them a nudge cause she is damn sick and tired of regurgitating worms up 10 times a day to feed them. After weeks of benging and purging I bet “empty nest” syndrome never crosses her mind! Animals haven’t locked in on this code of fear like humans have. Instead they have an incredible and inherent sense of BELIEF.

    As I have gotten older I have gotten to a point where I can honestly say. I BELIEVE. I believe in me. Cause if I don’t, who will? Others can believe in you all day long but they can’t fly for you. They can tell you how to do it and where and when….but that is about it.

    Nope. If you wanna soar, you gotta jump out of the nest on all your own. Everyone else is just a cheerleader on the sideline…and I personally LOVE cheerleaders…unless they are too skinny. I hate looking at anything I could bust like a twig. I’M JUST SAYING!

    I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. Hide and watch. There’s gonna be some great things coming our way!

    I love each and every one of you. Even if you think your excluded, your not.

    Juliana

  • Patience Grasshopper…..

    Patience Grasshopper….ugh…I’m trying, I’m trying…okay, honestly?Some days, I’m tired of trying. Some days I just want to let loose and spew a vile and nasty string of words at the world just to get it off my chest. I wanna get mad and throw things and hear glass shatter. I wanna scream so loud they can hear me in the next county. I want small children to tremble in my presence….okay, maybe not that extreme but you see where I am going here.

    When you try to walk a path of unconditional love it seems like, when you least expect it, someone shots an RPG (for those that don’t watch NCIS that is a rocket propelled granade) right at your ass. While your busy holding the door open and saying “have a nice day” and “may peace be with you” there is someone stepping on your toes as they scurry past with not so  much as an “Excuse me” or “Pardon me”.

    People suck…. , maybe not all people but some really do. At least a few do.

    Aghhhhhh but Grasshopper : ” To be able under ALL circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness”….says Confucius.

    Okay…people don’t suck. They just walk different paths. I know. I know.  Every encounter is a lesson no matter how big or small. Well then some lessons SUCK!!!!!   There, I said it. I feel better now. Can’t you tell? Don’t you see the smile on the grasshoppers face!

    Here is a bigger version. Courtesy of  http://www.elizabethcrocker.com and http://www.thewayiseeitthroughmylens.blogspot.com

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana