Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

XXX Confessions…..

Dieting, I am beginning to realize, is a lot like sex. When you have to do the same thing over and over it can get stale and let’s face it – boring. The temptation to stray can be overwhelming. Excitement mounts at the thought of something new,different and dangerous. Before you know it you’re sitting at Phil & Derek’s Cafe having a threesome over the most sinful dish of macaroni and cheese with white truffle oil that you ever dipped your spoon in. Work with me here. I’m still talking about the dieting.

Jimmie Swaggart may have only paid a prostitute to take of her clothes so he could watch over…and over…and over. But I dove right in and tasted the forbidden fruit. And ooooh my God is was gooooood!!!! Ounce for ounce my mac-n-cheese cost WAY more than a New Orleans hooker but it was worth every penny. I know you are supposed to confess with remorse in your heart but I just can’t muster any up right now.

Life happens and stress mounts as family matters pop up and friends pass or fall on hard times. It’s harder and harder to MAKE TIME to take care of my business. But I know the only one I am neglecting is myself. I didn’t feel as good this week as I had been feeling so I worked today on getting back on track. I battled the 4th of July foodies at the local grocery fighting their way through the hotdogs and beer and gathered up a bevy of heathy Scooby Snacks and dinner fix’ins. I came home and fixed up my two-week supply of snack bags for work.And now I feel a little better about the whole situation.

I guess I’m standing before the congregation of life and proclaiming my re-dedication to the cause. I feel like I should say the Pledge of Allegiance or something to make it official but instead…I’m gonna put my feet up and watch Paula Deen on the cooking channel. Mmmm. I love me some Paula Deen!

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

 

 

 

Comments on: "XXX Confessions….." (9)

  1. Girl, I have no doubt you will put your boots back on and get back to business as usual! Everyone needs a XXX moment in life… Matter of fact we need them fairly regularly… keeps life balanced. 🙂 Have a great weekend and enjoy those snacks!

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  2. Mariannne said:

    Great column. I’m not sure if it made me hungry or … what. Either way, the truffle oil sounds interesting.

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  3. Ha! Right there with ya, mama… Damn it to hell. I love food and especially love bad-for-me food. Ugh!

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  4. OK… I caught your post another night and thought it was funny so seeing your name again hooked me. The SWAGGART picture reeled me in!! So, um. I’m not BRAGGING or anything, BUT my Dad’s P.I. was the one who caught Jimmy swaggaring away from the hotel and so that kinda makes me famous by default. Just sayin! 😉 You’re funny, Sis!

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  5. Okay – now THAT is funny! It’s a small world!
    I’m thinking if I had been Jimmy Swaggart I would have had the sense to hire a hooker that made house calls to my office as a traveling bible sales…person…just saying!

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  6. carla clark said:

    I can honestly say I feel you Juliana. After a year of amazing Love, happiness and finally feeling good in my own skin, I have stumbeld accross 20 extra pounds…not good on a 5’2 frame. Amazingly I am still more in love with myself than ever and laugh at the celulite and j lo ass. I’d have to say seeing my mothers reflection in the mirror is more disturbing to me than any weight gain. Age gets us all. All that to say that today I loved myself with food. Everything, anything and copious amounts. Now I am tapping into loving myself with healthy food and weight be damned. If that means cornbread stuffing is
    on the menu then something redeeming shows up too.

    So proud of all you have done. You are a real light.
    carla

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  7. Carla, You are just gorgeous and that smile I have seem on your face the last year says it all. Be comfortable with who you are. You are dearly loved!

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