Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Tag: spiritual

  • The Power of Belief

    The Power of Belief

    No, I’m not about to get all preachy on you today because let’s be honest, I haven’t chatted with you in a while. I’m here today to point out something I need to practice more in my own life. So sit back and relax while I have a chat with myself in front of the mirror this morning with my coffee in my favorite cup.

    You see, I BELIEVE that my beliefs directly influence who I am and what I manifest in my life. There is significant POWER in the mindset that shapes my reality. I believe that it shapes yours as well.

    So if you BELIEVE that you are unworthy, unloved, lonely, can’t get ahead, can’t catch a break or can’t trust then you have solidified your own self-fulfilling prophecy of just that thing that you say you want to get away from. You manifest and create your reality where all those things are true. Because you see, if you BELIEVE something strongly enough, you are more likely to ACT in ways that bring that belief to fruition.

    By actively cultivating positive beliefs about yourself and your situation in life you are more likely to ACT in a way that attracts positive outcomes in your life.

    If you BELIEVE you are capable of achieving a goal, you are more likely to put in the effort and work needed to reach it, thus “becoming” someone who achieves that goal.

    So as you believe, so you become.  BE that which you want to see in the world.

    Now more than ever, be the love, the inspiration, the safe harbor, the mentor, the student and the teacher, the passion, the energy. BE-LIEVE that all you require, you already are and already have. Because you ARE worthy, you ARE loved, you ARE surrounded by people that see the BEST of you.

    BELIEVE THEM!

    I love each and every one of you!

    Juliana

  • Notes from the Harp

    Notes from the Harp

    Captains log: January 18, 2022

    It has taken me 18 days to settle into this new year. Not exactly a record but worth making note of.

    I have newly turned 59 years old. My cholesteral is finally too high for my doctor’s liking and so I join the ranks of other genteel statin-heads my age adding one more pill to the evening routine. This too shall pass, my mother would say, if you let it.

    If I let it…

    Here I sit at my “home” office, tastefully laid out in my living room. Strategically positioned between the back sliding glass door with a view of the backyard on my right and the open kitchen to my left. I’ve fed all the animals this morning including the feral cats at their respective doors. One prefers the kitchen window which we have deemed the “drive-through” service. I leave the glass door and kitchen window open just a crack for a light cross breeze.

    I settle into my desk and a hot mug of morning coffee. I lay before me my parcel of meds and vitamins. I scroll through my business emails and try to focus on the day ahead. Focus is fleeting. I ask Alexa to play music to study by, cause I’m just not ready for “Today’s Top Hits”. The softest strains of a harp begin to play. Gentle fingers on strings popping and strumming along. A violin whispers its way into the tune and then the full symphony. Not just from Alexa but all around me. I hear a chorus of singing birds with the Egyptian Geese from the neighboring golf course honking in perfect time. The trills of the songbirds and then the rustle of dry leaves on the driveway all create this incredible musical moment in time.

    This too shall pass, if I let it. So I embrace the moment and drink in the music of the day with a ravenous thirst.

    Yes, Momma, I hear your voice. No use crying over spilt milk. Take the pill for now and make better choices today. Eat better, exercise more, and listen to the music.

    I got it from here momma.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2022

  • Bridges to Tomorrow

    Bridges to Tomorrow

    Sometimes the bridges with the least risk are the hardest to cross. There is no rushing torrent beneath it to sweep us away if we lose our footing. It is neither too tall to scale nor too long to travel. It is simply a break in the path and yet we avoid it at all cost. Perhaps it is the simplicity we avoid.

    It is our nature as humans to assume that “decisions” must be labored over, mulled, and examined. That things or results that you desire must be earned.

    Let me remind you that there is already a plan:

     Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

    For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

    If you are struggling with a “decision”, then understand that the struggle is man-made. Continue your walk, sometimes the path is the soft earth beneath your feet, other times it’s a smooth paved surface and every now and again it’s small planks to keep you on an even keel. The goal is to keep moving forward. New experiences are just around the bend.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2021

  • A Window on the World…

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    The Eternal Law of Life is: ‘What you think and feel you bring into form; where your thought IS there you are, for you are your consciousness; and what you meditate or pray upon, you become.’

    And so I sit this Sunday morning reflecting on the state of the world, humanity, our nation, my home and ultimately…myself. The world is demanding change…but who is willing to actually step up and CHANGE THEMSELVES. We all want the changes to happen OVER there, UP there, DOWN there. It’s almost always something we see outside ourselves and rarely what or who we see when we look in the mirror each morning.

    Change can only come when we understand that CHANGE is the responsibility of every individual and that to foster that change we must know how to apply the Eternal Law of Life.

    When you allow your mind to dwell upon thoughts of hate, condemnation, envy, jealousy, criticism, fear, doubt, or suspicion, and allow these feelings of irritation to generate within you, you will certainly have discord, failure, and disaster in your mind, body and world. As long as you persist in allow-ing your attention to be held by such thoughts whether they be about nations, persons, places, conditions, or things you are absorbing those activities : the substance of your mind, your body, and  airs. In fact you are compelling — forcing — them into experience.

    Think of the great change that could take place in the WORLD if only everyone would accept their own God given responsibility to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. You can’t wait for your neighbor to change first. It must start in you.

    Turn your attention and maintain a focus upon Truth, Love, Peace and Freedom , persistently held in your conscious thought and feeling, will bring them into your use and the world, as surely as it was said ”

    “Ask and it shall be given unto you, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened onto you. Alleu, Alleuia. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. And His righteousness. And all these things, shall be added unto you.”

    Seek first the kingdom of God…that inner source within you, and His righteousness….his right thought….shall be added unto you.

    BE the change.  BE what you want to see in the world, your nation, your town, your family and home. See it in your own reflection each day when you look in the mirror. The responsibility is yours alone.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • Into my dreams…..

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    You visit me in my dreams. Dreams so vivid and real that for a brief moment the dream becomes reality and I am totally immersed in the time, taste, and smells surrounding me. Emotions are more intense and swell unrestrained by any insecurity or proven past history. My true reality seems like a distant childhood memory clouded over by a low, ground hugging fog that I dare not stir. I feel the pull between the two worlds and I can sense the end is approaching and I fight to stay longer and FEEL more, EXPERIENCE more, LIVE more. I begin to panic and tell myself to “Find the key”…Find the key that will bring me back here.

    In my desperate attempt to  “Find the key”….I panic and open my eyes. The veil is lifted and I am here. I feel empty and alone……

    So I get up and do what I always do….make my first cup of coffee…turn on the morning news….check Facebook for the latest gossip and news….line up my vitamins and medications….and ponder the message and meaning of my dream.

    It dawned on me that I had to do nothing to enter the dream. It came to me. I had not carried the fears, rules and restrictions I had engrained into my life with me to this new place. I had not consciously set them down, they just no longer existed….I was happier than I had ever been. Everything seemed enhanced. My sight was sharper, my heart was fuller and I could experience everything around me with increased appreciation. It was only when I began to worry about  losing all that I was experiencing that I felt the pull and weight of reality and waking consciousness.

    Dreams are our training ground….a chance to experience all that we are and all that we can be when we let go and live in the moment. Moments we don’t have to create, manage or manipulate to bring about.

    There is a saying I have heard all my life “Let go and Let God“…Let go and allow the perfectness that is within you to manifest the perfectness around you.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana

     

    Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

     

  • Still working on the chorus…..

    DrMomma Keep Moving It’s not lost on me that some people actually lose the ability to move forward in life. They become weighted and bogged down in life by the things they spend years struggling and fighting against. They live in a state of unrest. Emotionally, physically and spiritually denied by their own short comings and insecurities. Till finally, they are so accustomed to the dis-ease in their spirit they stop and withdraw behind a solid blindfold. They sit still,convinced that non-movement is the safest course.

    We all can feel stagnant from time to time. These days I find I fight off the cold blindness and the temptation to wrap up in that blanket of insecurity by shuffling my feet. It doesn’t even matter what direction I move in as long as I keep moving. If I go down the wrong road, then so be it! I can always turn around and go back the other way…as long as I keep moving.

    Some people move along with a song in the heart. I’m 50 years old and I’ve got the first verse…I’m still working on the chorus.

    I love each and every one of you
    Juliana

    Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

  • Keep the good times coming…..

    I know…I know, where the hell have I been? Well, I’ve been living life. What you been do’in?

    I hope you haven’t been waiting on me….or

    Waiting on the RIGHT time to do something…..or, for the RIGHT person to do it with…..or

    The RIGHT moment to do whatever the hell you THINK is gonna make you happy.

    TIME is endless…our time here is not.

    It has been a year since my father passed away. On the one year anniversary of his passing my sweet mother asked if I thought his life was as happy as he wanted.  I replied, “Is anybodies?”

    It made me think for a while about his life. And I thought   “NO” …Though he always seemed to do what he wanted, when he wanted….I don’t believe it was as happy a life as he would have liked.

    It made me think even more .Who is responsible for what we get out of life? The answer was as obvious as the dirty clothes piled on my bedroom floor.  We are….. I am.  So, I am taking ownership of my happiness. I am taking responsibility for my life and it’s outcome.

    LIFE is too short to wait.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

    Copyright Juliana Wathen 2013

  • Going to the source…..

    This is my favorite picture from my vacation in Hawaii. My final morning when I took my rental car and headed for the Road to Hana. This picture is special. I keep this picture  in a frame top box on my coffee table to remind me of what is possible.

    That final morning I spotted a small state park on the left of the road at the turn off to Hana. I had been walking on beaches for 5 days, black sand, white sand  – but this one seemed different and I was compelled to find out why. I parked the car and walked past the tree line to the beach. I went to the water’s edge and took pictures of surfers and fishermen and tried to paint this last vista into my memory. I felt an incredible peace that morning. I turned to walk back to my car and saw a man clad only in a short white sarong walking towards me. He moved with great purpose and yet his feet seemed to barely disturb the sand.

    His skin was golden. It glowed and the light seemed to shimmer off his shoulders. I couldn’t really tell if the source was actual sunlight or if the glow radiated  from somewhere deep within his body. And it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually questioning the source of this illumination. So I continued to watch him. There was nothing subtle about my gaze.

    I stood there, transfixed on him as he walked by. He smiled and as he passed I lifted the camera to my eye and began shooting as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do. He walked away from me and up to the tree line which seemed to have a small clearing. He removed his sarong, bowed in reverence to the sun and then sat….and began his morning meditation. I just stood there…watching….this man…this master….center himself and ground his energy to the earth. He was the perfect picture of peace and I could feel it energizing my own body. I knew instantly that he knew who he was , where he had come from and where he was going.

    I never forgot that moment. I had never seen anyone so peaceful in all my life, so centered and so strong in his silence.

    People sometimes go to great lengths to be noticed. Whether they dress to impress or shout out loud, put stickers on their cars or wave banners in the air. The person who got my attention and impressed me the most these past ten yrs has been the man – who walked by and said absolutely nothing.

    I wanna be like him.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

    Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

  • Set Sail…..

    There will come a day when I will go unseen and unknown. No forwarding address, no email or phone number.  It is the fate of all that have come before me and the waiting legacy of all who come after me. Few have the chance to choose the when, where or how. And no one can predict who will be there to hold our hand or if we will even get that final goodbye. If you have lived your life honestly and shared your love with all those that mattered along the way then when, where and with whom won’t matter. There will be no words left unspoken and no amends left unmade.

    Life is meant to be lived. Live it to the fullest.

    Life is meant to be loved. Find your passion.

    Life is meant to be shared. Keep the doors to your heart open.

    Life is simple – people are complicated, love makes it all worth while.

    When my days on earth are through set my ashes adrift on the waves between the islands of Molokai and Maui.

    Take the sailboat out of Lahaina Harbor and let the hum of the engine take you to the edge of the land mass. Cut the engine and have faith. The trade winds will whip around the end of the island and fill your sails. The boat will pitch to the side and you will find yourself moving with a purpose, sailing across the most incredible blue water you have ever seen with a grace you have never experienced before.

    This is where I will be. There, with spinner dolphins and hump back whales, filled sails and a setting sun. This is life…this is love… THIS is where you will find me.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

    Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

     

     

  • Don’t give up the ship…..

    One of the greatest assets we can possess is HOPE. Hope gives us the ability to move forward, to see ahead through the storm and on to clearer days and calmer seas.

    It tells us “we can” when others, including ourselves, say “we can’t”. Hope is that small seed that propels us into the future. It is the spark that ignites our dreams. It is the fuel that carries us through the darkest hours and most difficult circumstances. It carries us through to the finish line.

    Hope is the passion behind every smile you see every day of your life. It nurtures and molds our ability to love unconditionally and lays the foundation for our faith. It makes us who we are.

    Without HOPE  there is no future or direction.

    There are challenging days ahead for some folks and I have only these words to share with you as they were shared with me tonight.  Don’t give up the ship.

    Never give up HOPE. I’ll lend you some of mine if you need it. I now have plenty to share.

    I love each and every one of you and today I love the Acker Family  just a little bit more. We are sending you light, love and plenty of hope.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen