Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Tag: guidance

  • The Power of Belief

    The Power of Belief

    No, I’m not about to get all preachy on you today because let’s be honest, I haven’t chatted with you in a while. I’m here today to point out something I need to practice more in my own life. So sit back and relax while I have a chat with myself in front of the mirror this morning with my coffee in my favorite cup.

    You see, I BELIEVE that my beliefs directly influence who I am and what I manifest in my life. There is significant POWER in the mindset that shapes my reality. I believe that it shapes yours as well.

    So if you BELIEVE that you are unworthy, unloved, lonely, can’t get ahead, can’t catch a break or can’t trust then you have solidified your own self-fulfilling prophecy of just that thing that you say you want to get away from. You manifest and create your reality where all those things are true. Because you see, if you BELIEVE something strongly enough, you are more likely to ACT in ways that bring that belief to fruition.

    By actively cultivating positive beliefs about yourself and your situation in life you are more likely to ACT in a way that attracts positive outcomes in your life.

    If you BELIEVE you are capable of achieving a goal, you are more likely to put in the effort and work needed to reach it, thus “becoming” someone who achieves that goal.

    So as you believe, so you become.  BE that which you want to see in the world.

    Now more than ever, be the love, the inspiration, the safe harbor, the mentor, the student and the teacher, the passion, the energy. BE-LIEVE that all you require, you already are and already have. Because you ARE worthy, you ARE loved, you ARE surrounded by people that see the BEST of you.

    BELIEVE THEM!

    I love each and every one of you!

    Juliana

  • Notes from the Harp

    Notes from the Harp

    Captains log: January 18, 2022

    It has taken me 18 days to settle into this new year. Not exactly a record but worth making note of.

    I have newly turned 59 years old. My cholesteral is finally too high for my doctor’s liking and so I join the ranks of other genteel statin-heads my age adding one more pill to the evening routine. This too shall pass, my mother would say, if you let it.

    If I let it…

    Here I sit at my “home” office, tastefully laid out in my living room. Strategically positioned between the back sliding glass door with a view of the backyard on my right and the open kitchen to my left. I’ve fed all the animals this morning including the feral cats at their respective doors. One prefers the kitchen window which we have deemed the “drive-through” service. I leave the glass door and kitchen window open just a crack for a light cross breeze.

    I settle into my desk and a hot mug of morning coffee. I lay before me my parcel of meds and vitamins. I scroll through my business emails and try to focus on the day ahead. Focus is fleeting. I ask Alexa to play music to study by, cause I’m just not ready for “Today’s Top Hits”. The softest strains of a harp begin to play. Gentle fingers on strings popping and strumming along. A violin whispers its way into the tune and then the full symphony. Not just from Alexa but all around me. I hear a chorus of singing birds with the Egyptian Geese from the neighboring golf course honking in perfect time. The trills of the songbirds and then the rustle of dry leaves on the driveway all create this incredible musical moment in time.

    This too shall pass, if I let it. So I embrace the moment and drink in the music of the day with a ravenous thirst.

    Yes, Momma, I hear your voice. No use crying over spilt milk. Take the pill for now and make better choices today. Eat better, exercise more, and listen to the music.

    I got it from here momma.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2022

  • One Choice, One Step

    One Choice, One Step

    The year is new but that doesn’t mean we can just amend old habits with a spoken wish and a written resolution…OR IS IT?

    We have been conditioned to believe that change is hard, that the struggle is real, and that it is in the difficulty that resides the prize. I respectfully disagree.

    Change is on choice. It is one step away at any given point in your life. The opportunity is omnipresent.

    What must be at the top of my list of choices is self-care. Not because I am selfish…but because I am a leader, an innovator, a student, an artist, and a friend. I participate in my community, industry, and family. I owe it to the people around me that I love and respect to be the best that I can be.

    One step defines your day. One choice defines your future.

    Take the time to take care of yourself.

    There is a reason the flight attendant says to put on your oxygen masks before attempting to help others.

    You can’t help others if you can’t breathe!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2022

  • Bridges to Tomorrow

    Bridges to Tomorrow

    Sometimes the bridges with the least risk are the hardest to cross. There is no rushing torrent beneath it to sweep us away if we lose our footing. It is neither too tall to scale nor too long to travel. It is simply a break in the path and yet we avoid it at all cost. Perhaps it is the simplicity we avoid.

    It is our nature as humans to assume that “decisions” must be labored over, mulled, and examined. That things or results that you desire must be earned.

    Let me remind you that there is already a plan:

     Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

    For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

    If you are struggling with a “decision”, then understand that the struggle is man-made. Continue your walk, sometimes the path is the soft earth beneath your feet, other times it’s a smooth paved surface and every now and again it’s small planks to keep you on an even keel. The goal is to keep moving forward. New experiences are just around the bend.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2021

  • Seriously…Step aside….

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    Have you ever heard the phrase” Get out of your own way” ? For all the up and downs life throws us it seems that the answer can be as easy as ….STEP ASIDE.

    It seems we have been programmed to believe that for something to work it must be hard-won. That we must struggle to learn and move ahead. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”

    So if that is the Universal Law then why don’t we use it?

    A friend recently confided that she is struggling to lose weight after a divorce. She was up every morning to swim laps and scoured the stores for mounds of fresh fruits, veggies and fish. Two weeks of dedication, solid exercise and eating right had only resulted in a measly 3lb loss. Flossing celery strands from between her teeth hardly seemed worth it. But she also shared that she was afraid of attracting anyone new into her life. And it dawned on me. She may have consciously been exercising and  eating healthy but she had not yet given her body PERMISSION to let go of all the cells that were no longer necessary to the health and well-being of her body. She was sub-consciously hanging on to her “warm, snuggly robe of excess weight” and burning calories be damned, her heels were dug in and  she wasn’t letting go. A house divided cannot stand! She was working against herself. Her body, mind and spirit weren’t only not on the same page…they weren’t even in the same library. Unity starts within and only when the three are aligned with a common goal can you be successful.

    A crown of righteousness…..RIGHT-USE-NESS has been given to us. All the keys to the Kingdom are ours if we would just stand for our birthright, declare our worthiness and use the simple laws that have been given us.

    If you want to be successful….GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to succeed.

    I give myself permission to learn.

    I give myself permission to love.

    I give myself permission to forgive.

    I give myself permission to release grief and anger.

    I give my body permission to release all unnecessary cells that no longer serve my body and health for the better.

    Seriously….Step aside…. and let all that life has to offer come to you.

    I love each and every one of you….

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • A Window on the World…

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    The Eternal Law of Life is: ‘What you think and feel you bring into form; where your thought IS there you are, for you are your consciousness; and what you meditate or pray upon, you become.’

    And so I sit this Sunday morning reflecting on the state of the world, humanity, our nation, my home and ultimately…myself. The world is demanding change…but who is willing to actually step up and CHANGE THEMSELVES. We all want the changes to happen OVER there, UP there, DOWN there. It’s almost always something we see outside ourselves and rarely what or who we see when we look in the mirror each morning.

    Change can only come when we understand that CHANGE is the responsibility of every individual and that to foster that change we must know how to apply the Eternal Law of Life.

    When you allow your mind to dwell upon thoughts of hate, condemnation, envy, jealousy, criticism, fear, doubt, or suspicion, and allow these feelings of irritation to generate within you, you will certainly have discord, failure, and disaster in your mind, body and world. As long as you persist in allow-ing your attention to be held by such thoughts whether they be about nations, persons, places, conditions, or things you are absorbing those activities : the substance of your mind, your body, and  airs. In fact you are compelling — forcing — them into experience.

    Think of the great change that could take place in the WORLD if only everyone would accept their own God given responsibility to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. You can’t wait for your neighbor to change first. It must start in you.

    Turn your attention and maintain a focus upon Truth, Love, Peace and Freedom , persistently held in your conscious thought and feeling, will bring them into your use and the world, as surely as it was said ”

    “Ask and it shall be given unto you, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened onto you. Alleu, Alleuia. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. And His righteousness. And all these things, shall be added unto you.”

    Seek first the kingdom of God…that inner source within you, and His righteousness….his right thought….shall be added unto you.

    BE the change.  BE what you want to see in the world, your nation, your town, your family and home. See it in your own reflection each day when you look in the mirror. The responsibility is yours alone.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • I shaved my legs for this?…..

    big-changes It’s hard to believe that there is an unflattering side to losing weight. But there is! And NOBODY, I mean NOOOOOBODY warns you about it. Now, before you go getting your granny panties in a twist, I’m not talking that 10 lbs of “Water Weight” you think you are retaining. I am talking about losing big pounds…75…100…125! Sure, you’re gonna be able to wear smaller clothes, pull your car seat up a few inches or perhaps even come a tad bit closer to fitting into the NORMAL airline seat in coach. But what they DON’T tell you is what can kill ya!

    I’ve been shaving my legs for years…a lot of years! But this weekend, I damn near had to dial 911 for a paramedic. I knew the “landscape” had changed a smidge as I have lost 113 lbs. But it has been pretty gradual so I didn’t honestly give it too much thought. Besides, why the hell would someone need to TEACH me how to shave my legs? For Christ sake. I’m 50 years old. I think I got this!
    And I was gliding along just fine with my hot pink Venus triple blade razor with it’s handy dandy moisturizing strip (which just looks like another piece of plastic to me) till this thing…this…unknown obstacle got in my way. This thing above my foot and below my calf, protruding grotesquely out of the side of my…..OH MY HOLY JESUS!!! I have an ankle!!!! And not just one….I checked the other leg….I HAVE TWO! TWO ANKLES!!!!! And one just happened to be gushing blood like a newly drilled backyard oil well. And I am pretty sure that because of my hot pink Venus triple blade razor with it’s handy dandy moisturizing strip that I was missing not just one, or two but THREE layers of skin to boot!

    Physicians, family and friends, and let’s not forget complete strangers, all whisper about the “Shar Pei” effects on skin after drastic weight lose. But can we just focus on the bigger picture right now. The fact that I FINALLY have ankles and one is drastically SCARED for the rest of my life and I didn’t even have it for more than a month. I hung my head, deflated as I bandaged my new ankle. 😦

    For those who just can’t relate because you have always HAD ankles….let me put it in terms you can understand…You have a BRAND NEW CAR….It’s the one you always wanted – the right color, the best features and you haven’t even had it a month before some asshole in the Wal-mart parking lot pulls his Ford F350 pickup truck into the VERY small parking spot beside you and dings your NEW CAR DOOR getting out of his giant POS! THAT…is how it felt. It’s not like I’m gonna go to the BODY SHOP for a repair. I’m just gonna learn to live with it.

    So me and my battle scared ankle will warn the masses! Who’d have thunk it?

    I still love each and every one of you
    Juliana

    Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

  • Into my dreams…..

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    You visit me in my dreams. Dreams so vivid and real that for a brief moment the dream becomes reality and I am totally immersed in the time, taste, and smells surrounding me. Emotions are more intense and swell unrestrained by any insecurity or proven past history. My true reality seems like a distant childhood memory clouded over by a low, ground hugging fog that I dare not stir. I feel the pull between the two worlds and I can sense the end is approaching and I fight to stay longer and FEEL more, EXPERIENCE more, LIVE more. I begin to panic and tell myself to “Find the key”…Find the key that will bring me back here.

    In my desperate attempt to  “Find the key”….I panic and open my eyes. The veil is lifted and I am here. I feel empty and alone……

    So I get up and do what I always do….make my first cup of coffee…turn on the morning news….check Facebook for the latest gossip and news….line up my vitamins and medications….and ponder the message and meaning of my dream.

    It dawned on me that I had to do nothing to enter the dream. It came to me. I had not carried the fears, rules and restrictions I had engrained into my life with me to this new place. I had not consciously set them down, they just no longer existed….I was happier than I had ever been. Everything seemed enhanced. My sight was sharper, my heart was fuller and I could experience everything around me with increased appreciation. It was only when I began to worry about  losing all that I was experiencing that I felt the pull and weight of reality and waking consciousness.

    Dreams are our training ground….a chance to experience all that we are and all that we can be when we let go and live in the moment. Moments we don’t have to create, manage or manipulate to bring about.

    There is a saying I have heard all my life “Let go and Let God“…Let go and allow the perfectness that is within you to manifest the perfectness around you.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana

     

    Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

     

  • I Got You Babe!…..

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    Without you …..I would not experience Faith

    Without you …..I wouldn’t be challenged to Trust

    Without you…..I would not strive to make the World a Better Place

    Without you…..I would not push myself to get to the Other Side

    Without you…..I would not experience Unconditional Love

    I would not be who I am today without all the experiences, conditions and people that have touched my day to day life.
    It truly is YOU AND ME BABE!

    I love each and every one of you
    Juliana

    Copy Right 2013 Juliana Wathen

  • Unwrap it but save the bow…..

    It’s Christmas Day and that means the end of the year is creeping closer and closer and 2011 will be coming to an end.

    I set out 12 months ago to “HAVE THE BEST YEAR EVER” and despite the ups and downs of day to day life and the passing of family and friends, I have to say that it was indeed the best year ever.

    You can’t measure life lessons with a stick or a scale but by the fact that you made it to the other side and can look over your shoulder and see that there is a finish line behind you.

    Make no mistake. The game of life is not over – you just “leveled up”.

    THE END is just a New Beginning.

    Look forward to the life lessons that will come your way in 2012. Live in the moment and enjoy the ride. Your life is just that, YOURS. Create it to the best of your ability knowing that you are limitless in your divine power to create and adjust according to your needs.

    Life is a gift. Stop shaking the box and unwrap it today.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana