Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Tag: girlfriends

  • UP!

    Okay Saturday morning…how you do’in? I’m up. Maybe not completely vertical but up none the less. I have a cup of coffee, have called two after-hours techs for equipment for a show tomorrow and since my laundry is done and the cat is fed…..I’m stuck staring at my YOGA DVD.

    Why is the thought of starting a 20 minute yoga routine such a drudgery. It’s gonna make me feel better. I’ll be more flexible. I’ll be focused for the day. My circulation will increase! Maybe I’m just afraid what the good old oxygen rich blood might do to those starved nether regions. I don’t want no trouble outta yous guys!

    The sectional sofa is calling my name like a siren from the shore. The chatter on Facebook is all about the new French cooking show on the Food Network and the remote control is just….right…there. The glistening bottle of amber Amaretto sitting on my kitchen counter is screaming “Put me in the God Damn Coffee!”. Sofa, Snuggie, TV, Coffee GOODNESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

    And then I hear in a calm soothing voice…..”The couch will still be there in 20 minutes. You can TiVo the cooking channel and the Amaretto….well, and wouldn’t you rather trade in the Amaretto for a glass of wine at dinner tonight?”

    What?     Who said that?  Hmmmm, nobody here but me and Punkin and that cat ain’t talking.  Then comes a whisper in my ear…”Inner Voice”.

    Aghhh yes, I remember now. I have been praying for guidance and meditating to “hear” the answers. Well, just smack me on the back and call me successful. I was LISTENING and didn’t even know it. I guess this stuff really does work.

    Okay – I am up. DVD in and me and my new boyfriend Rodney Yee are gonna get down to some YOGA. Excuse me. Check ya later.

    Namaste

    Juliana

    The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. “Nama” means bow, “as” means I, and “te” means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means “bow me you” or “I bow to you”    Aadil Palkhivala’s

  • It’s already here.

    I find I am at a point in my life where I keep asking, “What’s next?”. There is a driving force within me that has awaken and is pushing me in new directions. I keep sensing I should be doing something new and different with my life.There seems to be an underlying purpose to everything I am experiencing and yet most of it is still unclear. It’s just a feeling, a sense, that I am moving into a new phase in life.

    I am not unique. Women of my age face a change in life far greater than physical. For the most part we are no longer raising small children- they are gone from the nest. Or the prospect of ever having children of our own has passed us by. Some by choice and others by circumstance. We no longer live in the shadow of a spouse or our parents.We are our own person. We finally have the time and energy to focus attention on ourselves.

    When you finally take the time to center your energy and listen to what your higher mind, GOD or the Universe has to tell you the question is: “What’s next?”….Where do I go from here?

    There is a direction meant just for you. There are accomplishments yet to be realized. The time is NOW.

    There is an underlying energy in the Universe just waiting for you to connect to it. Recharge your batteries and move ahead. Your best years are yet to come.

    I love each and everyone of you

    Juliana

  • Beauty school drop out!

    When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel beautiful? Yes, I know it’s a big word. Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t referring to the “B” word. I was talking about the “A” word. ALLOW.

    When was the last time you allowed or GAVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to feel beautiful?  Oh yeah, it’s all on you babe. There are things we do to “make ourselves” feel pretty; a trip to the salon, a new outfit or losing 10 lbs and suddenly we have a little swagger in our step. We hold our head higher. We walk a little brisker. We smile more easily.

    What if I told you that capturing that feeling of confidence is a choice? What if I told you it could be yours without the trip to the salon or the new outfit? All you have to do is ALLOW it.

    When I was a little girl, no more than 5 years old, I asked my father as many little girls do. “Daddy, am I pretty?”…He thought for a moment and replied while patting my head, “I would have to say you are a little bit homely but don’t worry about it”. I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. So I went to my mother and asked her. “Mom, what does “homely” mean?”…she smiled at me oblivious to my conversation with my father and said, “Well, it’s not very pretty, just kind of plain.”

    That brief moment in time molded my decisions for the next 41 years. I did not allow myself to feel pretty. I felt lost in a world where being pretty meant being popular and accepted. I just accepted the notion that I was plain. Agh! But I am far from plain my little grasshopper.

    Make the choice to allow yourself to feel beautiful .Make the choice to allow others to see your beauty. I was 46 years old before someone called me “Beautiful Girl” and I allowed myself to believe it as strongly as I did the comments of my father all those years ago. It was a choice then as it is a choice now. Give yourself permission to be beautiful in every way, in every aspect of your day.  Hold your head high, put a swagger in your step and smile a toothy grin…people will stop, look and listen. Tell them they are beautiful!!!

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

  • Believe

    I started this diary last year on my 47th birthday. Tomorrow marks the passing cycle of another 365 days.

    And what have I learned in this time?

    I’ve learned that when you dwell in fear you will lose what you were AFRAID of losing. The things that you were afraid might happen, happen. And the opportunities you were afraid would never come your way, never do.

    The flip side of the coin? When you have Faith, when you BELIEVE beyond a shadow of a doubt – you can move mountains.

    Now, I am certainly not interested in changing the topography of the world. But I am interested in changing MY world.

    My world starts with me. Over the next 365 days I will put my Faith in my abilities and talents to be a better and clearer expression of who I am. I will listen to that inner voice that says you are loved and you are beautiful in every way.

    And I will BELIEVE; in Family and Friendship, Hope, Charity and Love, Honesty, Freedom and Music. I Believe in ELVIS and I BELIEVE in ME.

    I believe in you too.

    God Bless

    Juliana