Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Category: Love

  • One Choice, One Step

    One Choice, One Step

    The year is new but that doesn’t mean we can just amend old habits with a spoken wish and a written resolution…OR IS IT?

    We have been conditioned to believe that change is hard, that the struggle is real, and that it is in the difficulty that resides the prize. I respectfully disagree.

    Change is on choice. It is one step away at any given point in your life. The opportunity is omnipresent.

    What must be at the top of my list of choices is self-care. Not because I am selfish…but because I am a leader, an innovator, a student, an artist, and a friend. I participate in my community, industry, and family. I owe it to the people around me that I love and respect to be the best that I can be.

    One step defines your day. One choice defines your future.

    Take the time to take care of yourself.

    There is a reason the flight attendant says to put on your oxygen masks before attempting to help others.

    You can’t help others if you can’t breathe!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2022

  • Share with your neighbor…

    Share with your neighbor…

    Yes, even THAT guy.

    It takes so little energy to be kind to man or beast. When you commit to being KIND, you cannot put stipulations on it. You can’t say, “I’ll only be kind to people I know”, or “I’ll only be kind to people in my neighborhood, or church or school”. To truly embrace KINDNESS you have to extend that kindness beyond your comfort zones.

    I was delighted to see PePe LePew last night dining on my deck as he doesn’t show up very often. I snapped his picture and posted it on Facebook to annouce we had a new feral “Kitty” at the diner! Several people immediately warned me of the dangers of skunks. They are nasty, he’s gonna spray your deck, your house is gonna smell!!! The sky is falling!!!!

    None of that happened. But it reminded me that there are preconcieved notions about everything and everyone. I actually sat beside the glass door and watched him eat and my cats joined me and we chatted with Pepe while he ate. He acknowledged us with a nod and a glance now and then. And when he had his fill he waddled off into the night. He might be back tonight with the standard rotation of raccoons, possums and feral cats and he may not. But that’s okay.

    Don’t ration your kindness. Don’t ration your peace, your forgiveness, your joy, your love. SPREAD IT AROUND UNCONDITIONALLY!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen @2020

  • Love-anemic

    Love-anemic

    I have to tell you that suddenly I realized – I AM LOVED-

    For years I used this Love. I let it flow through me and gave it forth to child, to friend, to all that needed it. But inexplicably “I” never took from it and so became love-anemic.

    I thought myself perhaps “unworthy” ?

    When someone said “I love you”, I smiled as if to say , “so nice”, but really never did I accept the cup and drink my fill…not even God’s love in all it’s abundance. I made my own.

    I was called “beloved”. BE…LOVED

    I felt the warmth of this vibration but never recognized its life-giving force.

    Now I KNOW. I have to hold these words in a conscious way near to my heart and learn to believe it. I feel this is a key to the riches unexplored by me, an absolute requisite to know true LIFE.

    As a child I knew it- I remember my laughter of JOY, the Purity of tones whenever I sang.Where did I lose this trust in me? I do not know.

    Important only is that suddenly I felt its absence…and as I skim over my life I find some many springs of LOVE where I am welcome to quench my thrist…

    My God, I do thank you

    that you have blessed me so

    for

    I AM LOVED

    Authored by : Wanda Wathen date unknown.

    I found this poem today in a file of my mothers. I don’t know when she wrote it, but I found it at just the right time. For me. For you. For everyone.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    @2020

  • Living this daydream…

    Living this daydream…

    This is a piece of me.

    For you.

    For the Earth.

    For Sky God.

    For the underdog.

    Give us what we need.

    Give us nothing.

    For in that nothing

    we find what fills us.

    Within life.

    Within death.

    Our peace is coming

    it is heaven sent.

    Peace in me.

    Peace in you.

    Living this daydream.

    For I Am.

    -Truth

    I received this poem as a gift from Derrick the Poet at the San Marcos Farmers Market. He asked me for a word. I gave him “Peace” and in few minutes he had typed out on this old style ink ribbon, hammer style pink typewriter, a poem just for me. I choose to share it because it is for us all.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    @2020

  • Where have all the lightkeepers gone?

    Where have all the lightkeepers gone?

    Tsunamis start as small waves deep at sea caused by an underwater disturbance. They can begin unnoticed, just a ripple, but as they get closer to land and the water becomes more shallow the long wave builds upwards until it crashs into land wiping out everything in its path.

    This is the story of America and our current situation of division and hate that started with a disturbance and has grown into a fast moving wave destroying evrything in its path. It has left me wondering what has happened to our light workers. Where are the individuals that carried the banner of light, love and understanding to lead the blind thru the storm? Gradually, I have seen them shutter the lighthouses and withdraw from being a beacon of linspiration and love to one of exclusion, disdain and even hate.

    We have spent decades trying to spread love, understanding and acceptance to all and accept them for where they were in life because we all have different quests and lessons put before us. We met hate with love, violence with peace, exclusion with open arms and ignorance with knowledge. Our doors were open to all….or so I thought.

    I have seen a wave of incredible people fall victim to that which they despise and many don’t even see it. They have succombed to hate and judgement and have soured their souls against their neighbors, friends and family. There is a tsunami of posts on Facebook of unfollowing associates, unfriending life long friends and even blocking family members as if that it the answer to the unrest in this country. Suddenly it is envogue to banish anyone who has an opposing opinion about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Yes, racism is vile, hate is wicked and so is judgement, sexism and eliteism. However-

    You cannot be the light in the storm if you only open the shutters to ships that sail under your flag or banner of protection.

    Lightworkers are here to be a light of love, an example of forgiveness and a bearer of truth. Do not hide your light. The time is NOW to burn brighter than ever. The time is here for you to recommit to meet the challenge and stand firm when the unrelenting waves of negativity crash at your shores. Let there be peace on earth….and let it begin with me.

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen @2020

  • Life is like a drawer of fried chicken…..

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    Forest Gump almost had it right – POLITICIANS are like a box of chocolates…you never know what your gonna get.

    So instead of standing on my soap box today and preaching I just want to make an impassioned plea to your stomach to consider what the world  looks like thru my eyes.

    LIFE….AN IDEAL LIFE…. of peace, harmony and good will is just like a pull out drawer of self serve cold chicken.

    Now while you pick your drooling jaw up off the linoleum floor…hear me out. The world has lost what the true meaning of UNITY is. Unity isn’t about dividing the red from the blue or imposing leash laws on other peoples dogmas.  Unity is about joining in spite of your differences. Which leads me to today’s topic at hand. Brothers and Sisters, I give you THE perfect refrigerator drawer!

    You might think I have lost my ever dieting mind – But there is TRUE UNITY in that drawer full of chicken. White and dark sit side by side without any muss or fuss. This drawer is where right wing and left wing can co-exist in peace without sound bites, finger pointing or negative ads. It’s a judgement free zone where you are free to have a preference and the freedom to pick a breast, leg or thigh, hell even a gizzard if you see fit. There is room for spicy and mild, baked, blackened, broiled or fried. When the day is done and all the votes are counted….it’s all just chicken. Protein just waiting to be paired with some of the best lip smacking sides and delectable desserts to ever cross a paper plate. That is the classic RE-UNION plate of the south. RE-Union…..to bring back together again and again. So yes, life should be like a drawer of chicken….eat what you like and share the rest.

    That is my recipe to success for this world of ours.

    I thank Gerald for the original picture…the drawer was nearly empty when I took mine. And to Paulie for a great reunion of friends in celebration of your birthday.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

     

     

     

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  • Seriously…Step aside….

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    Have you ever heard the phrase” Get out of your own way” ? For all the up and downs life throws us it seems that the answer can be as easy as ….STEP ASIDE.

    It seems we have been programmed to believe that for something to work it must be hard-won. That we must struggle to learn and move ahead. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”

    So if that is the Universal Law then why don’t we use it?

    A friend recently confided that she is struggling to lose weight after a divorce. She was up every morning to swim laps and scoured the stores for mounds of fresh fruits, veggies and fish. Two weeks of dedication, solid exercise and eating right had only resulted in a measly 3lb loss. Flossing celery strands from between her teeth hardly seemed worth it. But she also shared that she was afraid of attracting anyone new into her life. And it dawned on me. She may have consciously been exercising and  eating healthy but she had not yet given her body PERMISSION to let go of all the cells that were no longer necessary to the health and well-being of her body. She was sub-consciously hanging on to her “warm, snuggly robe of excess weight” and burning calories be damned, her heels were dug in and  she wasn’t letting go. A house divided cannot stand! She was working against herself. Her body, mind and spirit weren’t only not on the same page…they weren’t even in the same library. Unity starts within and only when the three are aligned with a common goal can you be successful.

    A crown of righteousness…..RIGHT-USE-NESS has been given to us. All the keys to the Kingdom are ours if we would just stand for our birthright, declare our worthiness and use the simple laws that have been given us.

    If you want to be successful….GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to succeed.

    I give myself permission to learn.

    I give myself permission to love.

    I give myself permission to forgive.

    I give myself permission to release grief and anger.

    I give my body permission to release all unnecessary cells that no longer serve my body and health for the better.

    Seriously….Step aside…. and let all that life has to offer come to you.

    I love each and every one of you….

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • A Window on the World…

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    The Eternal Law of Life is: ‘What you think and feel you bring into form; where your thought IS there you are, for you are your consciousness; and what you meditate or pray upon, you become.’

    And so I sit this Sunday morning reflecting on the state of the world, humanity, our nation, my home and ultimately…myself. The world is demanding change…but who is willing to actually step up and CHANGE THEMSELVES. We all want the changes to happen OVER there, UP there, DOWN there. It’s almost always something we see outside ourselves and rarely what or who we see when we look in the mirror each morning.

    Change can only come when we understand that CHANGE is the responsibility of every individual and that to foster that change we must know how to apply the Eternal Law of Life.

    When you allow your mind to dwell upon thoughts of hate, condemnation, envy, jealousy, criticism, fear, doubt, or suspicion, and allow these feelings of irritation to generate within you, you will certainly have discord, failure, and disaster in your mind, body and world. As long as you persist in allow-ing your attention to be held by such thoughts whether they be about nations, persons, places, conditions, or things you are absorbing those activities : the substance of your mind, your body, and  airs. In fact you are compelling — forcing — them into experience.

    Think of the great change that could take place in the WORLD if only everyone would accept their own God given responsibility to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. You can’t wait for your neighbor to change first. It must start in you.

    Turn your attention and maintain a focus upon Truth, Love, Peace and Freedom , persistently held in your conscious thought and feeling, will bring them into your use and the world, as surely as it was said ”

    “Ask and it shall be given unto you, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened onto you. Alleu, Alleuia. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. And His righteousness. And all these things, shall be added unto you.”

    Seek first the kingdom of God…that inner source within you, and His righteousness….his right thought….shall be added unto you.

    BE the change.  BE what you want to see in the world, your nation, your town, your family and home. See it in your own reflection each day when you look in the mirror. The responsibility is yours alone.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • Keep the good times coming…..

    I know…I know, where the hell have I been? Well, I’ve been living life. What you been do’in?

    I hope you haven’t been waiting on me….or

    Waiting on the RIGHT time to do something…..or, for the RIGHT person to do it with…..or

    The RIGHT moment to do whatever the hell you THINK is gonna make you happy.

    TIME is endless…our time here is not.

    It has been a year since my father passed away. On the one year anniversary of his passing my sweet mother asked if I thought his life was as happy as he wanted.  I replied, “Is anybodies?”

    It made me think for a while about his life. And I thought   “NO” …Though he always seemed to do what he wanted, when he wanted….I don’t believe it was as happy a life as he would have liked.

    It made me think even more .Who is responsible for what we get out of life? The answer was as obvious as the dirty clothes piled on my bedroom floor.  We are….. I am.  So, I am taking ownership of my happiness. I am taking responsibility for my life and it’s outcome.

    LIFE is too short to wait.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

    Copyright Juliana Wathen 2013

  • The Goldilocks Complex…..

    I must admit. I have lived my life settling for many things that didn’t fit. I have a history of being overly agreeable. I would just deal with what was handed me and go with the flow.

    I wasn’t one to complain if things were too hot or cold, too big or too small, too short or too tall. I settled in life and love.

    In hindsight, I see that I was just glad to have something rather than nothing at all. What I should have done was continue to do just what Goldilocks did…..look for what was JUST RIGHT.

    I’m ready to find the “JUST RIGHT” moments in my life. To do that, I have to be willing to crawl out of the bed that is too short no matter how accustomed to it I have become and put my feet on the floor. It’s time to point my feet towards the door and walk thru it.

    I have 8 days of healthy eating under my belt. I deserve to feel “JUST RIGHT” about losing weight and being healthy.

    I have worked hard this past year to find that “JUST RIGHT” spot in my core and make peace with myself for all the times that I have “SETTLED” in the past.

    What I have discovered is that the more I allow myself to experience those “JUST RIGHT” moments the more I am inclined to pass up the ones that don’t completely fit.

    Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own skin and happy. You just have to claim it. And sometimes THAT, in itself, can make you feel uncomfortable when you struggle with self worth. The only one keeping you from realizing your own worth ….is you.

    I want what Goldilocks wants. From now on, I will settle for nothing less than “JUST RIGHT” in life and love. Don’t you settle either.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana

    Copyright 2012 Juliana Wathen