Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..

Category: Health

  • Self-Care?

    Self-Care?

    You hear the words “self-care” and visions of day spas, bottomless mimosas, and naps by the pool fly before your mind’s eye like a sizzle reel on youtube. You never think about the un-fun side of self-care. But alas, here I sit in my pj’s in my “home” office making that dreaded call to the ….Dentist.

    I have no choice, there is never a GOOD TIME to go for an, oh my God, I’m losing my mind, root canal. Only less offensive, less disruptive, can’t take it any longer kinda time. Today is that day. And luckily they can see to it this afternoon. And it’s a good thing. I dive into my last semester of college tomorrow (which I took on during covid for -something to do.) 17hrs of college education stand between a classicly framed diploma hanging on the office wall and this 59-year-old business owning, corporate meeting planner, community volunteer, and overall fabulous Auntie.

    So, have you ever noticed that when you take the time to schedule some of that ever so popular buzz word “self-care”, that you all but have to convince yourself you deserve it? How many times have you had a sparring match with yourself over scheduling that massage or adding an enhanced service, upgrade or extra lil’ som-some to that day out and felt a twinge of guilt for doing it? Ooohhh, and God forbid someone else see you do it. All the justifications come pouring out like sins at a confessional. Oh gurl! I have been working none stop. I earned this!!! You should have seen what I have been dealing with this last month at work…at home…in my head. Sugar, you would have caved in long along – so yes, I’m having a lil’ treat…. Nothing extravagant…. Just a little something to keep me from ending up on the evening news.

    We profess the benefits of self-care on all the magazine covers, talk shows, and podcasts, and blogs but every good Southern girl still feels a bit guilty taking that time for herself.

    But by God, give me a good ole toothache and I’ll put off that self-care as long as I possibly can!

    Self-care is not all fluff and pleasantries. It can be getting your boob smashed in a vice grip contraption that only a man would have devised. Lord knows if they had to have their penis placed between two cold plates and squeeeeeeeeeeezed, they would have invented something else real quick. Self-care can be getting a flu shot, an annual exam, a new set of tires, a pair of real glasses instead of a 12 pack of Walmart readers and yes, sometimes it means a trip to the dentist for a root canal.

    This too shall pass. It’s just a choice to be made and a step in the right direction to make all the following days that much easier to manage.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2022

  • Share with your neighbor…

    Share with your neighbor…

    Yes, even THAT guy.

    It takes so little energy to be kind to man or beast. When you commit to being KIND, you cannot put stipulations on it. You can’t say, “I’ll only be kind to people I know”, or “I’ll only be kind to people in my neighborhood, or church or school”. To truly embrace KINDNESS you have to extend that kindness beyond your comfort zones.

    I was delighted to see PePe LePew last night dining on my deck as he doesn’t show up very often. I snapped his picture and posted it on Facebook to annouce we had a new feral “Kitty” at the diner! Several people immediately warned me of the dangers of skunks. They are nasty, he’s gonna spray your deck, your house is gonna smell!!! The sky is falling!!!!

    None of that happened. But it reminded me that there are preconcieved notions about everything and everyone. I actually sat beside the glass door and watched him eat and my cats joined me and we chatted with Pepe while he ate. He acknowledged us with a nod and a glance now and then. And when he had his fill he waddled off into the night. He might be back tonight with the standard rotation of raccoons, possums and feral cats and he may not. But that’s okay.

    Don’t ration your kindness. Don’t ration your peace, your forgiveness, your joy, your love. SPREAD IT AROUND UNCONDITIONALLY!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen @2020

  • Living this daydream…

    Living this daydream…

    This is a piece of me.

    For you.

    For the Earth.

    For Sky God.

    For the underdog.

    Give us what we need.

    Give us nothing.

    For in that nothing

    we find what fills us.

    Within life.

    Within death.

    Our peace is coming

    it is heaven sent.

    Peace in me.

    Peace in you.

    Living this daydream.

    For I Am.

    -Truth

    I received this poem as a gift from Derrick the Poet at the San Marcos Farmers Market. He asked me for a word. I gave him “Peace” and in few minutes he had typed out on this old style ink ribbon, hammer style pink typewriter, a poem just for me. I choose to share it because it is for us all.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen

    @2020

  • It’s FALL Y’ALL!….well..sorta

    It’s FALL Y’ALL!….well..sorta

    Thank you Jesus, hallelujah, praise be and pass the whiskey. I stepped outside this morning and it was only 90 degrees and 52% humidity. That folks, is FALL in Texas!

    I pranced down my driveway with a lil’ bounce in my step and headed to the trailhead for my morning walk. This beat the hell outta 102 degrees and 95% humidity anyday. July In Houston is not for the faint of heart. You can’t walk to the mailbox without sweating through your panties. So today…is a TREAT of sizable measure. My three mile walk has become my time to get away from the media, the election, the spam calls and the boredom of being unemployed during the pandemic. I have learned to tune out and tune in. At first the silence is astounding, but as I turn up one curve and round the bend to another I begin to discern the sights and sounds around me. I hear the low hum of a distant highway, a squirrel barking at me as I pass under his tree and different birds calling from here and there. I smell the orange pine needles that have fallen all over the path and I am aware to watch my step cause you can slip right on your ass if you aren’t careful. And there is nothing worse than road rash and sweaty panties. Today I walked right into the familiar “herbal” aroma just lit on the back porch of a half million dollar home that backs up to the trial. I giggled to myself and thought – YOU DO YOU MAN!

    Stepping back from the “world” gives me a chance to embrace the earth and remember all the things I have to be grateful for. As political pundits from both parties scream to the heavens that the sky is falling the fact remains, the sky knows it’s place. Mother Nature makes adjustments day in and day out without our input. Seasons come and go, each with it’s own beauty and challanges and so do my days. So…I walk, I work in my yard, I clean my garage, I file a new payment request from unemployment. I participate in virtual meetings with my industry peers, I take college classes online and I wash my fair share of sweat drenched panties. Yep! Life is GOOD!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen @2020

  • Relax,Recoup,Return,Rejoice

    Relax,Recoup,Return,Rejoice

    First off, RELAX. You may not be a spring chicken any longer and some minor injuries, bumbs and bruises can be expected from time to time. I recently worked my way up to walking three miles a day with my online college P.E. class. I was killing it I tell ya! Till that right knee I had replaced in 2017 started hurting. Not while I walked mind you but after. And it wasn’t the bionic knee that hurt, it was above and below. Ya know… where the old parts are that my mother, obviously, didn’t invest in the extended warranty before she drove me off the labor and delivery floor some 57 years ago.

    This is where most people, and believe me I was tempted, just say, Oooohhh… I just can’t do that anymore. But instead, I was pissed. I called the ortho and scheduled an appointment. A strained patellar, knee strap, lidocaine ointment, kryo-pack and some schedule physical therapy later I had to accept that I was going to have to have some RECOUP time. Instead of a three mile walk, I tried to do some chores outside each day ( I found a ribbon snake and no I did not scream) and even went to the neighborhood pool a few times (OMG, My bathing suit fits sooooooo much better.)

    Yesterday morning, I geared up, put my knee strap on and headed out. I wasn’t sure I was going to do three miles- but I was determined to try. I’d actually been missing my walks. I missed saying good morning to all the little critters I said hello to each day. Why, that morning I just felt like Snow White skipping along,chatting away to the birds, squirrels and bayou turtles …minus the hair bow, blue dress and those pesky dwarfs of course. Aghhh. I had RETURNED!! I made it three miles!!! I was a sweat drenched, happy mess!

    So today, I can REJOICE. I have lost 20lbs and I started my day out with a walk and facing the final week of Summer Session II. Finals today look very different from the 1980’s. There is no Chanello’s pizza box on the coffee table, no bags of miniture candy bars or stacks of dirty laundry tossed among the text books and spirals. Just me, a sports bottle of ice water and a laptop. So when you see those obnoxious ads poping up on your Facebook feed that shows the animated fat girl walking and the pounds just melting off, it’s not quite that easy. But it does help. Just like everything else in life, it takes putting one foot in front of the other.

    I love each and every one of you

    Juliana Wathen @2020

  • LOST & FOUND

     

    keys

     I want to talk to you today about the power of words and I am taking aim at one of the most common phrases of all time. “I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.”

    Now, you may think this is a GOOD phrase. Seems harmless, right? But let me point out a few things about these words.

    Years ago, my sweet momma, Wanda Glyn, called me while I was at college. She had had  one of those light bulb moments that strikes like lightning! She was a pray-er from way back! Now, the Good Lord says to “ask and it shall be given”, well she had been praying ever since I was child. “Lord, we need more money”….we were always JUST scraping by and she was always afraid we wouldn’t have enough. But we always had what we needed …but there was nothing extra. It dawned on her that instead of sending praise  and being thankful that we always had what would sustain us, she had been praying for “NEED” all these years. And the Good Lord gave it to her in spades.

    So I caught myself the other day on one of my “girlfriend” pages on Facebook saying and hearing in return over and over “I NEED to LOSE weight. Now, If I applied Wanda Glyn’s new found wisdom there are two words here that need some work. So we already covered the “NEED” part…when you tell the good Lord “I NEED” he’s gonna give you NEED in buckets, but what about “LOSE”. That word started ringing a bit negative to me. Because when you lose things it’s usually bad. Is it good when we LOSE our car keys, lose our jobs, lose a loved one or just plan lose our shit! NO!!! People even say “I am sorry for your loss”. Nobody has ever said that to me when I’ve lost weight but I have had a few “Bless your hearts” waved at me. So what is this need to LOSE WEIGHT?

    LOSE, you see,  carries with it the feeling of anxiety and downright sadness…don’t you get anxious when you lose something, don’t you beat yourself up sometimes for losing shit? I DO! All I want to do is find it or con-soul myself by replacing it if at all possible! What if sub-consciously we were feeling the same same way about weight. People always joke that when you loss weight to be careful or you’ll find it again and there is always some ass-hat that will chime in “I FOUND IT, let me know when you want it back!”

    So, how can I fix this anxiety ridden Mantra of ” I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT” to something positive that I can use on a daily basis that makes me feel GOOD and THANKFUL in every word. I came up with this, something to add to my morning prayer and meditation:

    “I release back to the ONE source all cells of my body that are not necessary to the healthy functioning of this body. My temple is clean, pure and balanced in all things. I thank you for your service and for the en-lighten-ment you have brought me.“

    You see, when you RELEASE things, you LET THEM GO without the expectation, want or desire to see them again. Changing the power of my speech and prayer from one of anxiety and loss to one of release and joy has given me a whole new attitude toward my life choices. I feel like lightning has struck again and I can hear sweet Wanda Glyn cheering from the heavens above, I AM THAT I AM and it is good.

    I love each and every one of you,

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2018

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  • Seriously…Step aside….

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    Have you ever heard the phrase” Get out of your own way” ? For all the up and downs life throws us it seems that the answer can be as easy as ….STEP ASIDE.

    It seems we have been programmed to believe that for something to work it must be hard-won. That we must struggle to learn and move ahead. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”

    So if that is the Universal Law then why don’t we use it?

    A friend recently confided that she is struggling to lose weight after a divorce. She was up every morning to swim laps and scoured the stores for mounds of fresh fruits, veggies and fish. Two weeks of dedication, solid exercise and eating right had only resulted in a measly 3lb loss. Flossing celery strands from between her teeth hardly seemed worth it. But she also shared that she was afraid of attracting anyone new into her life. And it dawned on me. She may have consciously been exercising and  eating healthy but she had not yet given her body PERMISSION to let go of all the cells that were no longer necessary to the health and well-being of her body. She was sub-consciously hanging on to her “warm, snuggly robe of excess weight” and burning calories be damned, her heels were dug in and  she wasn’t letting go. A house divided cannot stand! She was working against herself. Her body, mind and spirit weren’t only not on the same page…they weren’t even in the same library. Unity starts within and only when the three are aligned with a common goal can you be successful.

    A crown of righteousness…..RIGHT-USE-NESS has been given to us. All the keys to the Kingdom are ours if we would just stand for our birthright, declare our worthiness and use the simple laws that have been given us.

    If you want to be successful….GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to succeed.

    I give myself permission to learn.

    I give myself permission to love.

    I give myself permission to forgive.

    I give myself permission to release grief and anger.

    I give my body permission to release all unnecessary cells that no longer serve my body and health for the better.

    Seriously….Step aside…. and let all that life has to offer come to you.

    I love each and every one of you….

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2016

  • Happy WEIGHT LOSS Awareness Day!!!…

    pancake29f-1-webBitter? Table for one! Bitter???

    Go ahead – make it a table for two cause I am damn sure I’m not alone.

    Damn you iHop!!! Get thee behind me!!!

    I have no fear – for thou art with me….”Thou” being a stiff cup of coffee and an EAS Vanilla Protein shake for breakfast!

    All you can eat free pancakes…..Ha! I laugh in the face of your monstrous stack!

    I love each and every one of you…even if you show up drenched in creamy butter and gads of sweet syrup!

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright @2015

  • Living life 8 seconds at a time…..

    thVOHSAJ9TThis week RODEO HOUSTON gets underway and you will find me every fourth night volunteering in the Main Corral Club at NRG Center. To get in the mood I have dropped more than my share of semi-expendable cash at Cavender’s Western Wear, had my boots polished and have spent the evening being a slug watching The American Rodeo on RFD-TV. Giddy up and go cowgirl!!!

    On this dreary Sunday I have lain up in the middle of my pretty-pretty princess bed surrounded by a large assortment of pillows and a sleeping fur ball and watched four-legged and two-legged athletes alike put it all on the line for a buckle and a paycheck. The toughest of the bunch stake their entire existence on just 8 seconds.  8 seconds.

    I started to think just how long 8 seconds must feel like when there is a pissed off 1000lb bull with his nut sack cinched up to Jesus and back, trying like hell to make this is your last day on earth. How many decisions does that cowboy have to make in 8 seconds do you think? His entire life can flash before his eyes, he has time to second guess the bull’s next move and prepare for it and he even has time to think about what the future will hold and how he will spend his money if he makes to buzzer. All in 8 Seconds.

    I feel the pressure some days of all the choices I have and need to make in living this life. Some days I feel like I’ve spent more time tossed to the dirt than riding high. So I sat and pondered, what if I only gave myself 8 seconds to make a choice. What if I only allowed myself 8 seconds when I wake up in the morning to get out of bed? I’d be UP AND MOVING. What if I had to make decisions in 8 seconds on food choices and exercise as if my life depended on it.  Ohhhh wait…it DOES!

    Bells and whistles go off in my head…..I spend too much time having casual conversations with myself day in and day out, rationalizing bad choices. I talk myself out of getting up, getting out and living life. I wait on others to be motivated and use more excuses than a politician seeking re-election. The time has come to COWGIRL UP Ladies!!! Time to take the bull by the horns and make some better choices. I’ll let you know how it turns out!

    I love each and every one of you.

    Juliana Wathen

    Copyright 2015

  • Swimm’in in My Socks!

    Sock Monkey

    It’s a new year and just like every other “NEW” year I feel I have been beaten thoroughly about the face and neck with a bar of soap tied off in an old sock to assess my GOALS.

    Everywhere I have turned lately I have had to review goals, adjust goals, set goals, stretch goals or hear about goals.
    It’s all black and white and a whole lot of spread sheets and numbers and quiet frankly I’d rather wash a stack of dirty dishes by hand.

    So with all this HYPER-GOAL-ISM going on I realized I had made a goal out of making my shoes fit.
    You see… my feet have shrunk…a lot. All my shoes are too big since I’ve lost weight and so every morning I have succumbed to a ritual of trying to make my shoes fit just right. Each pair of shoes requires a different strategy, thicker socks for one, two pairs for another, three for another but it has to be the RIGHT three pairs and in certain layers. All this work to reach my GOAL of wearing a damn pair of shoes.
    I was fixated on the GOAL to wear these shoes….and this morning it dawned on me after layering on two pair of black socks to wear my tennis shoes…The GOAL is not always the best answer.

    So today – I look BEYOND the goal. I will eliminate the stress and time consuming burden of decisions.Instead of climbing over a wall I will go around it! I WILL BUY A NEW PAIR OF SHOES and stop the insanity of swimm’in in my socks and make sock monkeys instead. Life is about the journey – not the destination.ENJOY!

    I love each and every one of you
    Juliana

    Copyright 2014 Juliana Wathen