Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

The Goldilocks Complex…..

February 27, 2012

I must admit. I have lived my life settling for many things that didn’t fit. I have a history of being overly agreeable. I would just deal with what was handed me and go with the flow.

I wasn’t one to complain if things were too hot or cold, too big or too small, too short or too tall. I settled in life and love.

In hindsight, I see that I was just glad to have something rather than nothing at all. What I should have done was continue to do just what Goldilocks did…..look for what was JUST RIGHT.

I’m ready to find the “JUST RIGHT” moments in my life. To do that, I have to be willing to crawl out of the bed that is too short no matter how accustomed to it I have become and put my feet on the floor. It’s time to point my feet towards the door and walk thru it.

I have 8 days of healthy eating under my belt. I deserve to feel “JUST RIGHT” about losing weight and being healthy.

I have worked hard this past year to find that “JUST RIGHT” spot in my core and make peace with myself for all the times that I have “SETTLED” in the past.

What I have discovered is that the more I allow myself to experience those “JUST RIGHT” moments the more I am inclined to pass up the ones that don’t completely fit.

Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own skin and happy. You just have to claim it. And sometimes THAT, in itself, can make you feel uncomfortable when you struggle with self worth. The only one keeping you from realizing your own worth ….is you.

I want what Goldilocks wants. From now on, I will settle for nothing less than “JUST RIGHT” in life and love. Don’t you settle either.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2012 Juliana Wathen

Category:

Health, inspirational, lesbian, LIFE, Love, spiritual

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The Guarded Heart…..

February 10, 2012

Yes….Valentines Day is quickly approaching or as one smug son of a bitch so eloquently dubbed it,  “Singles Awareness Day”.

Some of us are single by choice and others by circumstance but there are many people out there that go to great lengths and extreme measures to GUARD their heart.  They have made a conscious decision to shield themselves in an attempt to thwart off  pain, disappointment, abandonment or betrayal. In their eyes they are protecting themselves from further damage and shoring up their most vulnerable bits and pieces. They are taking control and defending their territory in an attempt to stay SAFE.

The reality is…SAFE is a lonely place. You not only shield yourself from pain but from LOVE as well. Nothing can penetrate that reinforced skin. Love is something that has to flow. The more you allow it to flow into your heart the more it is able to flow from you. To experience love, You have to share it.

This Valentine’s Day, rethink that emotional chastity belt. Be open to love and love all you can.

I LOVE each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2012 Juliana Wathen

 

Category:

inspirational, LIFE, Love, meditation, mid life, motivational, Single

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By Letting It Go….It All Gets Done…..

February 9, 2012

Every day I wake up is another day full of opportunity to make my life a better place to be. My goal is to have peace and prosperity in every direction I turn. The end result?  It’s just a whole hell of a lot easier to live a healthy lifestyle when you are just damn happy to be here.

Making changes and letting go of the past or negative thinking is a challenge but can be mastered. The pain you feel in your life is merely based on ATTACHMENTS. Attachments can be anything, a person, a place, a situation or even a hurtful word. As long as you remain ATTACHED to the PAIN, the pain will persist. When you spend time focusing on the pain then you amplify it with your energy.When you can honestly LET GO of the attachments you have made and cut the cord  then you will truly be free of the pain and frustration that clouds your day and limits your ability to move forward.

Making the decision to actually LET GO can be as nerve racking as the final moments standing on  the high dive platform for the first time. Your toes grip the edge of the board – as if they can hold you.You think about the dive. You mull it over in your mind again and again.  Knees together….shoulders square….jump up and out. The closer you get to jumping  the faster your heart races and butterflies swim in your stomach. But once you jump and leave that platform, there is no going back and suddenly you realize you have taken that proverbial leap of faith and placed your thoughts into actions and in doing so – find your freedom.

The accomplishment is exhilarating.

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana

Copyright 2012 Juliana Wathen

Category:

Health, Inspiration, meditation, motivational

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Back in the saddle again…..

February 1, 2012

After a long absence of ….well…too damn long. I am back. Back in the saddle again.

There have been some good times and bad times since I was last here but always lots of learning.

I figured out that life  – no matter how old you are, is exactly like school…You go to class every day soooo anxious to graduate and dream of the day you no longer have to roll out at o-dark-thiry in the morning to make it to school. Graduation seems so far away. But eventually you turn in all the homework, write the papers and pass the class. And TA-DA! You have absorbed all the information presented to you and pat yourself on the back for FINALLY grasping the obvious and graduating.

Graduation is just the beginning my friend. But you go ahead and take a little time off and celebrate the accomplishment, maybe even brag a bit to family and friends. But it is all for not if you don’t use what you learn.

It’s kinda like being able to pass the written part of a driving test without ever getting behind the wheel. It doesn’t mean you can drive an 18 wheeler on an Ice Road.

Hard decision are hard because you have to actually think about them and weigh them out. Making the decision and living it is like crossing the Ice Road in record time with the heaviest load ever. Getting to the other side and cashing in your load beats any diploma on the wall.

If you’re gonna talk the talk – then walk the walk. I have on my sensible shoes….and I am walking!

 

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2012 Juliana Wathen

 

 

 

Category:

motivational

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Diary of a MAD*FAT*WOMAN takes to the stage….

December 28, 2011

IT IS FINALLY HERE! A SHOW!!!!!!!

NAME IN LIGHTS…..Diary of a MAD* FAT * WOMAN.
A Night of Cabaret with Juliana Wathen

TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW AT
http://www.obsidianartspace.org/coming-events.html

Based on the popular blog by the same name
Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN…..a journal of personal insight, crazy rants, battle of the bulge and mid life crisis enhanced by some of the best music of the past 5 decades.

Opening January 4th, 2012 at 7:30 and running Thursday, January 5th – Saturday the 7th and Thursday, January 12- Saturday the 14th.

Obsidian Art Space 3522 White Oak Houston, Texas 77007

Tickets are $20.00 per person $15.00 for students and seniors.

Category:

mid life, motivational, Music, singing

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Unwrap it but save the bow…..

December 25, 2011

It’s Christmas Day and that means the end of the year is creeping closer and closer and 2011 will be coming to an end.

I set out 12 months ago to “HAVE THE BEST YEAR EVER” and despite the ups and downs of day to day life and the passing of family and friends, I have to say that it was indeed the best year ever.

You can’t measure life lessons with a stick or a scale but by the fact that you made it to the other side and can look over your shoulder and see that there is a finish line behind you.

Make no mistake. The game of life is not over – you just “leveled up”.

THE END is just a New Beginning.

Look forward to the life lessons that will come your way in 2012. Live in the moment and enjoy the ride. Your life is just that, YOURS. Create it to the best of your ability knowing that you are limitless in your divine power to create and adjust according to your needs.

Life is a gift. Stop shaking the box and unwrap it today.

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana

Category:

Friends, Inspiration, LIFE, Love

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Find your STAGE DOOR and open it…..

December 24, 2011

Well, you may have wondered what the hell happened to me. I have been absent for a while. But, have no fear, I am alive, well and living in America.

Swamped by the crush of the holiday season at work and at home I have been running mach 90 with my hair on fire these last few months. And now I sit here in the still of  Christmas Eve morn with a cup of coffee and a few world-famous,Franklin Hollenbeck lemon squares that came special delivery all the way from Hell’s Kitchen in New York City. The US Postal Service has served me well.

I am in the final throws of script prep for NAME IN LIGHTS….which opens in 11 days. Just a little cabaret to start off 2012. Like the sign says, “Find your STAGE DOOR and open it”.

How ironic I would be given this plague for Christmas because that is just what I am doing. Finding my STAGE DOOR. Finding my purpose. How do you get to be damn near 49 yrs old and not know your purpose. (that’s a statement – not a question)

HOW? or is it a WHAT?….cause, are we really looking for a purpose or are we looking for HAPPINESS? Can you find one without the other?

When I was 5 or 6 yrs old I saw The Wizard of OZ and Dorothy told me that “IT” was “OVER THERE’”….just a step beyond the rain……Over the Rainbow. And somehow, it has felt that way for almost all my life since.

But I have come to realize in 2011 that “IT” was there all the time. And even though I opted to wear comfortable shoes instead of ruby slippers I was just three heal clicks away from understanding that “I” was home.

HOME is learning to be comfortable in your own skin and accepting who you are. If you aren’t comfortable with some piece or part of that then it’s time to do some house cleaning . Don’t bother calling in a maid service, you’ll need to tidy up this mess all on your own.

Okay – I got work to do. You all have a Happy Holiday.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Category:

Inspiration, LIFE, mid life, motivational

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Going to the source…..

November 11, 2011

This is my favorite picture from my vacation in Hawaii. My final morning when I took my rental car and headed for the Road to Hana. This picture is special. I keep this picture  in a frame top box on my coffee table to remind me of what is possible.

That final morning I spotted a small state park on the left of the road at the turn off to Hana. I had been walking on beaches for 5 days, black sand, white sand  – but this one seemed different and I was compelled to find out why. I parked the car and walked past the tree line to the beach. I went to the water’s edge and took pictures of surfers and fishermen and tried to paint this last vista into my memory. I felt an incredible peace that morning. I turned to walk back to my car and saw a man clad only in a short white sarong walking towards me. He moved with great purpose and yet his feet seemed to barely disturb the sand.

His skin was golden. It glowed and the light seemed to shimmer off his shoulders. I couldn’t really tell if the source was actual sunlight or if the glow radiated  from somewhere deep within his body. And it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually questioning the source of this illumination. So I continued to watch him. There was nothing subtle about my gaze.

I stood there, transfixed on him as he walked by. He smiled and as he passed I lifted the camera to my eye and began shooting as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do. He walked away from me and up to the tree line which seemed to have a small clearing. He removed his sarong, bowed in reverence to the sun and then sat….and began his morning meditation. I just stood there…watching….this man…this master….center himself and ground his energy to the earth. He was the perfect picture of peace and I could feel it energizing my own body. I knew instantly that he knew who he was , where he had come from and where he was going.

I never forgot that moment. I had never seen anyone so peaceful in all my life, so centered and so strong in his silence.

People sometimes go to great lengths to be noticed. Whether they dress to impress or shout out loud, put stickers on their cars or wave banners in the air. The person who got my attention and impressed me the most these past ten yrs has been the man – who walked by and said absolutely nothing.

I wanna be like him.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

Category:

Health, Inspiration, Love, meditation, Nature, spiritual

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Set Sail…..

November 9, 2011

There will come a day when I will go unseen and unknown. No forwarding address, no email or phone number.  It is the fate of all that have come before me and the waiting legacy of all who come after me. Few have the chance to choose the when, where or how. And no one can predict who will be there to hold our hand or if we will even get that final goodbye. If you have lived your life honestly and shared your love with all those that mattered along the way then when, where and with whom won’t matter. There will be no words left unspoken and no amends left unmade.

Life is meant to be lived. Live it to the fullest.

Life is meant to be loved. Find your passion.

Life is meant to be shared. Keep the doors to your heart open.

Life is simple – people are complicated, love makes it all worth while.

When my days on earth are through set my ashes adrift on the waves between the islands of Molokai and Maui.

Take the sailboat out of Lahaina Harbor and let the hum of the engine take you to the edge of the land mass. Cut the engine and have faith. The trade winds will whip around the end of the island and fill your sails. The boat will pitch to the side and you will find yourself moving with a purpose, sailing across the most incredible blue water you have ever seen with a grace you have never experienced before.

This is where I will be. There, with spinner dolphins and hump back whales, filled sails and a setting sun. This is life…this is love… THIS is where you will find me.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

 

 

Category:

Inspiration, LIFE, Love, meditation, motivational, spiritual

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What’s a girl to do?…..

November 5, 2011

I never, ever get a cold. EVER!!!    But this morning?

Aching, sneezing, stuffy head, soar throat. WTF?

My mother assured me it was all mental. A stress reaction to finding out my health insurance provider had dumped me three days ago without telling me. Lovely.

They …(shhhhh.. .United Healthcare) had told me in July that at the end of my COBRA I would be able to convert to an Individual Policy. Sounded too good to be true…and it was. Nooooooo…They COULD convert it but they WON’T. And in some states they HAVE to convert it by law…Not Texas. Little something she neglected to mention.

So, here I sit on my fabulous black and white contemporary sectional couch that I traded a washer/dryer set for and love oh so much, sniffling like a two year old and sneezing my proverbial ass off.

Oh, I have all the comfy things I need…remote control, Lemon & Honey throat lozenges, Vick’s laden box of tissues, a cup of tea and a new red blanket from Urban Outfitters compliments of LAW and Kari’s discount card. Who could ask for anything more. This too shall pass.

The insurance thing..not likely to find any takers or any takers I can possibly afford. I’m gonna get all research and tech savvy and find a lovely Canadian Pharmacy. How is it that on THAT side of the border American Pharmaceuticals are CHEAPER. Made in America – shipped a few miles north and  BINGO!!! “BOUGHT IN CANADA” means savings galore and BTW includes free shipping. So, I kinda figure it this way. Save $406.00 I was paying a month for insurance coverage and momma’s got a new pair of shoes!

And if I just happen to get hit by a beer truck on my way to work – I’ll gladly pay the county hospital $10.00 a month…. for life. I think I’ll come out ahead. And if not, just keep it to yourself and let me live in delusion long enough to build up my wardrobe.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

Category:

Health, LIFE, Uncategorized

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